Finding Your Edge Without Falling Off: Pushing Yourself Without Maxing Out

As busy women, we often wear multiple hats – mother, partner, employee, friend, & so much more. It’s easy to get caught in the whirlwind of to-do lists, striving for perfection, & feeling the constant pressure to “do it all.” While pushing ourselves can be incredibly rewarding, it’s crucial to recognize when it’s time to hit the pause button & prioritize self-care to avoid hitting a wall.

The Danger of Maxing Out

Take it from me, maxing out is no joke! Apparently, I’m not one of those who learns a lesson that sticks every time I go through something. Case in point: I max out at least once a year, refusing to listen to my body & back up off my to-do list. 

     When I think about it, I’ve experienced every sign of maxing out that there is. I’ve gone through:

• Burnout: This isn’t just feeling tired; it’s a state of emotional, physical, & mental exhaustion. Symptoms include cynicism, irritability, lack of motivation, & difficulty concentrating.

The hand full of times that I experienced burnout, it was rough. My everything hurt (I think I actually told someone one time that my hair hurt). Energy didn’t exist, & I couldn’t think straight if I was paid to do so. My attitude was on super rude, & I just wanted to be left alone. None of that works when you wear several hats.

• Impaired Performance: When we’re maxed out, our productivity actually decreases. We make more mistakes, struggle to focus, & become less creative.

When I’m in grind mode, it’s like “can’t stop, won’t stop.” But when I’ve maxed out, there’s nothing of substance being done anyway. The things I did get done definitely weren’t my best work. The motivation & creativity had left the building, so there may not have been a reason to even finish until I was back to my normal self.

• Health Consequences: Chronic stress can lead to serious health problems, including anxiety, depression, heart disease, & weakened immune systems.

I’ve maxed out before to the point where I couldn’t move. Between the lack of energy & motivation & the achiness, there was no way to keep going. And when you throw anxiety & depression in there, it’s a wrap. Throw in the towel & get some rest.

Be Intentional About Avoiding Maxing Out

Sometimes you have to call yourself to the carpet so you can get it together. I’ve had to talk to myself quite a bit in the last 3 months because I’ve been going HARD in the paint. These are some of the strategies I’ve used to help keep maxing out at bay:

• Define Your Limits: What truly matters to you? What can you delegate or let go of? Setting boundaries is key to sustainable success.

Limits are something I’m still working on. Some people get a firm, set in stone “no” while others get an all-access pass. What I’m learning though is that it’s ok to pause any of them at any time for any reason. I just have to learn to not let it get to the point where I cross over to the dark side & bite someone’s head off because I’m beyond my limits. 

• Prioritize Rest & Recovery: Make sleep a non-negotiable. Schedule regular breaks throughout the day for movement, mindfulness, or simply disconnecting from technology.

Again, ya girl is working on the rest & sleep thing. I don’t have to get a lot of sleep to function, but I also don’t need to run full steam ahead off of 3 hours of sleep several days a week. Our cruise last month showed me how much I needed to rest & that it’s ok to do nothing. 

• Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness & understanding you would offer a friend. Acknowledge your accomplishments & forgive yourself for your shortcomings.

Let’s face it: we’re our own worst critics, but we need to extend ourselves grace too. Every little step is an accomplishment; point blank period!

• Nourish Your Mind & Body: Focus on whole foods, regular exercise, & activities that bring you joy.

Exercising has become something I’ve come to enjoy. It’s amazing how someone who used to say “I’m allergic to exercise” can be committed to hopping out of bed at 4:30am & get it in 3-4 days a week. Between that, making great use of my Kindle app, & my morning & nighttime routines, I can say I’m pretty well nourished. 

• Seek Support: Connect with loved ones, join a support group, or consider therapy. Talking things through can provide valuable perspective & emotional relief.

My boo thang holds me down & holds me together. I have a Favorites list that I can vent to at any time of any day. And my journal gets worked over every night. I’m not afraid of therapy either when needed. 

Finding Your Edge Before Maxing Out

You’ve got to be practical to avoid maxing out. Don’t stretch yourself thin. Do what you can & be ok with saving some tasks for another time. There are very few things that have to be done right this second, so try not to stress over them. 

• Set Realistic Goals: Break down large goals into smaller, manageable steps. SMART goals work wonders. And don’t forget to celebrate each milestone along the way.

• Embrace Challenges: Step outside your comfort zone, but do so with intention & support. I love a challenge, but I’m learning not to push myself too hard. I need to be around to experience more.

• Focus on Growth: View challenges as opportunities for learning & development. Everything can be spun into something positive. Mistakes are learning opportunities, so figure out what you can learn from situations instead of beating yourself up over them. 

Remember: Pushing yourself is about growth, not exhaustion. By honoring your limits, practicing self-care, & approaching challenges with intention, you can achieve your goals while prioritizing your well-being. Cut yourself some slack, Superwoman!