Faith Over Fear, But Don’t Stop There…Manifest it!

Do y’all remember George Michael? Outside of my jam “Careless Whisper,” I loved seeing him in those jeans dancing around in the “Faith” video. Some of you are probably like “this girl is nuts,” others may be thinking “she listened to that?,” & my good music lovers are right there with me bopping. That song speaks to my soul right now. “You gotta have faith” is something I’ve been telling myself a lot lately, & I’m trying my hardest to put that faith above my fears. 

Fear Factor

There are various things that I fear. Some view them as ridiculous, while others completely agree with me. For instance, my children love to swim. The oldest has no fear & taught himself one year in camp because he didn’t want to be left out of the fun his peers were having. The youngest just finished swim lessons last month & was scared to be anywhere she couldn’t touch the bottom & hated water splashing in her face. Now she’s jumping into 5 foot deep water like it’s nothing. But ya girl, yeeeeeeah, naaaaaaah! 

     The fear of water that’s above my shoulders is REAL! I’ve been in swim lessons 4 times & still am afraid to lie flat in water to attempt to float. I don’t care if I have a life jacket on, I’m NOT jumping in any water I can go under. Only by the grace of God & probably pity from the teacher, did I receive an A in my college swim class & was marked as passing the swim test to graduate. I’m just not about that life!

     Another fear is lack of control. It doesn’t matter what it is, I’m always apprehensive about anything I can’t control. That’s part of the reason I hate planes. I don’t know those pilots & therefore side eye them on the low. Truthfully I only get on planes because I love to travel, & it’s the fastest (& sometimes only) way to get where I’m going. There’s not a thing about flying that’s fun, but I do it when necessary. Blame the experience I had in 2001 on a small plane (about 50 passengers) during a storm. The plane felt like it dropped hard a few times, & I didn’t get back on a place for about 5 years.

     Fear of failure is another big one for me. I’m the poster child for perfectionists. I cringe when I misspell something accidentally. I’ll go back & edit a note in a chart if I didn’t spell someone’s name correctly. I think negatively about myself when I’m not on my A game. I’m just an all around overachiever, & that’s not always a good thing! I can go too hard at times, & that only triggers my anxiety & heightens my stress levels. Not good!

Walking in Faith

Only with maturity has my faith increased. There are 2 sides of faith for me: faith in God & faith in everything else. My faith in God has grown so much, especially in the last 10 years. I used to question things in my younger years. The skeptic in me wanted proof that some man didn’t add or subtract whatever he wanted to the Bible. I just didn’t trust that someone translated it correctly every time. And the skepticism didn’t work so well for me. 

     I’d find times that spirituality drew me in. I’d find a new church, start attending regularly, then little distractions who push me to ease away again. If I couldn’t relate to the pastor’s message, I stopped going. If it was all about money & status, I stopped going. If there was competition between church members, 2 fingers…peace! I was there to get spiritually full for the week, not worry about who put the most money in their tithing envelope. 

     Then I manifested what I wanted in a husband. I literally wrote down everything in my journal that I had to have in a spouse that was not negotiable. I think that list was between 25-30 items. Super specific! As I saw them in my then friend, I checked them off. He had no clue, but about 3 months after meeting him, I knew he was the one. Ironically, he said he knew as well around the same time. 

     It was then that I realized how powerful prayer & manifestation are. I started learning more about other denominations of Christianity, & I became more serious about learning who God really is. I didn’t go into a building for worship, but my sister pointed me to a pastor that has great messages I can relate to weekly. I started having a Bible study with a JW lady & learned even more. Now, I have a routine: reading scriptures & devotionals before I do anything else each morning, praying each evening, Bible study on Saturday morning (unless our schedules don’t align), & watching the House of Hope & joining JW Zoom meetings every Sunday. 

     Some may think I need to pick a side when it comes to religion. I just don’t think you should have to label yourself anything. I love God, learning about Him, & developing a strong relationship with Him. My denomination is pointless; my bond is EVERYTHING! The way I see it, I’m covering all my bases with getting spiritually fed, & I find that if I miss any of the pieces of my spiritual routine, something feels off. 

     The faith in everything else wavers a lot. Although I want to learn how to swim, not only to be able to save my life if I’m in water, but also because I want to snorkel on vacation, I just don’t trust water. Back then, I couldn’t float. My bottom half always sunk, so I didn’t trust the process. I have no clue if I’d be able to float now, but hopefully one day I can overcome that fear & actually make the 5th time the charm. 

     I tend to have faith in myself more than others. Life’s experiences have taught me that many people can’t be trusted. Instead of allowing people the privilege of having trust until they violate it, I trust no one & allow them to prove they’re trustworthy over time. If I’m in a room with people I don’t know, trust that I’m probably going to be in the back where I can see everyone & everything, facing the entrance, & watching. 

     Although I don’t trust others easily, I’m a little better with trusting myself. I still downplay my abilities & doubt I can accomplish things at times, but I’m not as skeptical as I used to be. I’ve become more confident as an adult, so I can dish out some positive self-talk to boost myself up. I went rappelling down an old waterfall & zip-lining a few years ago despite being scared out of my mind. Granted, the group leader had to tell me there was no other way to get back where we came from for me to do it (which turned out to be a complete lie). Maybe I need to psych myself out like that when it comes to swimming 🤔.

     I love a challenge, especially when it comes to figuring something out. I may not be faithful at the beginning, but I’ll definitely be determined to figure the issue out. My circle knows I’m the go-to person when they want someone found. I’ll search every site I can think of to get that scoop, honey. Guess it’s in my DNA (thanks Daddy). I love to brainstorm when it’s time to put something together. The challenge intrigues me, so I can easily have faith in myself to at least try to solve the problem. However, I don’t always work well with others because I expect the same amount of effort out of them that I put in. I’m learning though, & my outlook on life is way more positive now than it was in the past. 

Manifesting Your Destiny

I can say I’ve manifested a lot of things in the last couple of decades. I wrote & prayed about the perfect husband for me, & he came into my life when I was done working on the broken pieces of myself that stopped me from being in healthy relationships. I got to know who I really was, what my unhealthy traits were that attracted toxic people, & learned to be comfortable with being alone. Once you open your eyes to who you really are, it’s easier to navigate through life.

     I manifested a daughter. We have 3 boys between the 2 of us, so we needed to add a girl to complete our family. It took 2 1/2 years  to conceive her, & we tried everything except in vitro. I guess we weren’t ready & needed to master being a blended, newlywed family first. I envisioned her & prayed about it, all the way down to her being milk chocolate with dimples & eyes that lit up like her daddy’s. And here she came in January 2014. I can say she has the best parts of us both. 

     I spoke my current job into existence. I’d tried for over 10 years to be hired by the hospital. Those were the “good jobs,” & I wanted the stability. The behavioral health field had me making good money & was fulfilling, but that money wasn’t consistent. As soon as the state changed something or the company had financial issues, I had to worry. I prayed for a job in the field that was stable & allowed me to leave work at work when I got off. March 2016 brought just that. I took a $10/hour pay cut, but having benefits, a 401K, & stability was more than enough for me. Not to mention, I was so much less stressed!

     When it was time to purchase a house, I knew what I wanted. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some aspects I didn’t get (like a big kitchen & bedroom with a sitting area), but when I walked through this house, I envisioned our family in it making memories. I was hellbent on not moving out of the city & thought I’d dread the drive to Charlotte, but once I laid eyes on it, I prayed we’d get it…and we did! And who would’ve thought that I’d love being in the quiet country & cringe now when I have to go into the city?!

Lighting the Match

Manifesting your future is real! You just have to believe in the things you want. Try some of these tactics:

• List them out, whether it’s on paper or the Notes app in your phone. Be as specific as possible too. Don’t be afraid to strip it down.
• Pray about them frequently. You have to have faith in whatever Higher Power you believe in. There’s most definitely something greater than us that created all of this! 
• Take steps to attain your goals. Nothing is just going to fall in your lap. You have to put feet to pavement to begin walking. Even the Bible says that (well, not in those words but I’m far from a scripture reciter).
• Believe, believe again, & believe some more! Faith keeps you motivated. With all the mess I’ve experienced, it’s the only way I’ve been able to keep pushing & not be dead or in jail. Everyone believes in something, so why not make one of those things yourself?
• Recognize that you’re worthy & deserving. You are far from less than, regardless of what you’ve done or been. Everyone has the ability to change & the right to be happy & fulfilled. Don’t settle.

This article has some great tips on manifesting things: https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/a30244004/how-to-manifest-anything. And now that you’ve seen how manifestation has touched my life, reflect on yours & see how you’ve spoken things into existence. But while you’re at it…anyone wanna assist me with manifesting winning the lottery? 😜 Maybe I should just write it in my Intentional Journal then…available at  https://intentionallyevolve.com/product-category/journals (go ahead & pick yours up). Be blessed, good people!