Protect Your Peace: How Setting Healthy Boundaries is the Ultimate Self-Care ☮️

Protect your peace at all costs! It’s something I try my best to live by. I learned a long time ago that living peacefully is the best way to go (or only way for me now). 🙅🏽‍♀️ What I’ve also learned is boundaries are mandatory for protecting your peace…our self-care topic of discussion this week. 

What Does It Mean To “Protect Your Peace?” 🤷🏽‍♀️

People throw around the saying “protect your peace” frequently. Peace means different things to different people. My definition of peace will be different from your definition, & my vision of peace might be a bit extreme to some. This is a glimpse of what my peace looks like:

• No drama: When I say no drama, I mean NO DRAMA. I don’t want any arguing around me. No stank attitudes for no reason allowed. Can’t deal with folks who constantly have “something” going on. My brain just can’t process too much going on. 🧠 If anyone falls into those categories, they have limited access to me. 
• Good vibes only: I’m an energy reader, so if there’s something off about a person, I’m gonna pick up on it in almost every situation. ⚡️ And I’m not going to always call out those vibes; I’m just going to keep my distance. 
• Giving no passes: I can dismiss a person from my life within a blink of an eye. 👁️ I used to be hella nice, naive, & passive, but life hardened me. Now I’m good for saying “friend, family, or foe; anyone can go.” AND I MEAN THAT 💩! If you come with mess, keep it moving.

     All of the things above equal boundaries for me. Boundaries that protect me from mess. Boundaries that help to keep my stress levels at bay. Boundaries that have become a part of me & are non-negotiable. However, it’s taken a lot of work to get here. 👩🏽‍💻

Establishing Boundaries to Protect Your Peace 🔨

Boundaries can be a task to set, especially if you’re timid & passive. It took a lot for me to hold steady on mine. I was a people pleaser & would avoid conflict at all costs. 🙏 I’d give in to people just to “keep the peace,” but I didn’t pay much attention to the fact that my peace wasn’t being kept. I sacrificed my comfort, myself, my peace, for any & everybody else. I would’ve rather had someone around than to be alone…until I didn’t.

     Please don’t take a page out of my book & wait until you’ve maxed out before you set boundaries. Literally, I was almost 40 before I started laying down the law for myself. Just think of how much I was walking on eggshells to avoid conflict. 🥚 It was sad AF! And because of that, I let things fester until they boiled over & turned me into Mocha Monster, the Queen of Pettyville. 😈

     Becoming Mocha Monster (at times) has been a gift & a curse. On one hand, I’m comfortable with walking away from anything & anyone who causes too much turmoil. 🚶🏽‍♀️ Everyone is going to have issues here & there, but not everyone enjoys them. If you’re one who keeps something going on, whether it’s your fault or the fault of those you keep around, you’re going to have limited access to me. I refuse to suffer the consequences of someone else’s choices, especially when those choices are purposely made.

     On the other hand, becoming a part-time ice queen doesn’t always feel the best. 🥶 I don’t like my ability to write people off so quickly. Everyone deserves a second chance, but these third, fourth, thirty-fourth chances are a no. I can walk right past someone I “used to know” like the person was invisible. Maybe one day I’ll find a balance, but I’m not there right now.

My Protect Your Peace Tools ✍🏾

I can’t sell products I don’t use or stand on. Integrity is major for me, so I promote my journals & planners but also use them. My Intentional Journal is the biggest peacemaker for me. Whether I’m in a good or bad mood, had a great or horrible day, or have a lot or a little to get off my chest, I whip that journal & spill it onto the pages. 

     That journal has given me space to express all of the not-so-nice thoughts I might want to say. It saves me from hurting loved ones’ feelings. The lethality of my tongue is stopped from low blowing someone. It’s served as my safe space for a long time. Because of that & the potential to be in my feelings anyplace, I don’t leave town without it. Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready!

     My journal’s Robin to it’s Batman is my Intentional Planner. The 30-minute blocks of time work wonders for me with creating & maintaining boundaries. If my day is packed, I know I’ll need a little window to reset at some point during the day. 🗓️ I make sure I block time when I first wake up & time before bed every night to grab a little taste of peace. 

     The weekly self-care tasks help remind me of the importance of standing on business when it comes to my boundaries. Sometimes we get so caught up in everything going on around us that we forget about ourselves. Boundaries remind you to remember yourself. Set them, don’t negotiate them, & thank me later!