Therapy & Medication: The Healing Dynamic Duo 🦹‍♂️🦸🏽‍♀️

The stigma that mental health has creates a negative effect on people, especially people of color. Labels like “crazy,” “nuts,” & “psycho” cause people to view having a mental health diagnosis as a weakness, so oftentimes people suffer in silence. 🤐 We have to work together as a community to stomp out the dark cloud surrounding mental health, & it starts with a dynamic duo: therapy & medication. 🗣️💊

The Right to Remain Silent: Don’t Talk About Therapy & Medication 🙊

Throwback Thinking on Therapy & Medication 🔙

There are only a handful of subjects that are considered taboo for the majority, & mental health is very close to the top of that list. It’s one of those “what goes on at home stays at home” type of topics. Being a member of a black family, that was one of the rules almost everyone I know had. We didn’t tell family business! 😶

     That way of thinking has caused us a lot of trauma & passed down dysfunction for many generations. If someone had a mental health disorder, they were called the “crazy aunt/uncle” that everyone wanted to avoid. There was no effort to come together & help, just running in the opposite direction so you weren’t guilty by association. 🏃🏾‍♀️

     Since there was no effort to help, there sure weren’t any discussions about therapy or medication management. The only counseling many people were willing to participate in was pre-marital counseling, & some people only went to that because the officiant required it to perform your ceremony. 🤵🏾‍♂️👰🏽‍♀️ Not to mention, you can take any medicine in the world except “crazy pills” & not be labeled. Who wants to be labeled anyway?

Throw-Away Thinking About Therapy & Medication 🗑️

I believe you have to be real with yourself & others to make changes in the world. There’s probably not a soul who hasn’t been touched by mental health in some way. For example:

• That teacher that you laughed at who jumped on his desk screaming: possibly PTSD. 👨‍🏫
• Your mom staying in the room sleeping most of the day, not wanting to be around others, & having no motivation to do anything: maybe Depression. 🛌
• Your boyfriend being really down on himself & grouchy one minute but being overly happy & spending money on anything he sees: could be Bipolar. 😃😭
• The kid that was bullied in elementary school for not being able to pay attention or sit still for long, had the messiest desk, & cut people off to call out answers without raising his hand: might be ADHD. 🚌
• The lady who stands outside of the corner store talking to herself constantly: likely has Psychosis. 🏪

     And none of these people should have a thing to be scared about. They shouldn’t be apprehensive about seeing a doctor because they don’t want to be looked down on, put in a box labeled “weird,” or stereotyped. 🩺 They shouldn’t have to suffer in silence. What they should be receiving is support, encouragement, & being welcomed. 

Superhero #1: Therapy 🗣️

Back in my ignorant years, I was totally against going to therapy. Not so much because I wanted to keep my business to myself; more-so because I’m not a big fan of talking to strangers. 🤐 Honestly I’m not a big fan of talking unless it’s something I’m interested in (& it’s not first thing in the morning). I just didn’t understand how talking to someone would help you work on your issues.

     Enter adulthood…Like real adulthood with bills after college. Not many years after I finished at UNC (go Heels 🐏😉), I took a leap of faith into the behavioral health field because one of my homegirls worked in it & said it was easy. That’s when I got a chance to see how real mental health is. I would sit in classrooms with kids for a few hours to help them regulate their emotions & behaviors. Then I’d do group therapy with kids after school. Twenty years later, I still remember the clients who had the most severe issues. 

     Over the course of 2 decades, there’s not much I haven’t seen in person. Whether it was in the school, community, residential placement, or hospital, I’ve seen some disturbing things. Ever seen someone’s pupils dilate until you can’t tell what color their eyes are? 🧿 Witnessed a sweet little girl switch off the sweetness without warning & tell you how she plotted to kill you? 🔪 Have you had to talk someone into lowering a weapon in the presence of police & you’re the only one not armed? 👮 The stories would go on for days!

     However, watching a young person transform the longer you work with them & they develop positive coping skills is an amazing thing. 🙌🏽 I’ve seen some kids turn their lives completely around because of therapeutic treatments. Talking is a release, & it can make you go from feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders to feeling light as a feather. And the therapist can’t tell anyone what you talk about unless you threaten to hurt yourself or someone else. Like a walking, talking diary!

Superhero #2: Medication 💊 

The power of a pill, baby! I don’t know a soul who likes to take medicine. I’m one of the rare adults who can’t swallow pills (I have to stick my tongue out & throw them in the back of my throat. Don’t judge me). However, medication can work wonders when you have the right combination for whatever your symptoms are. But taking medication comes with being labeled “sick,” & nobody wants that. 😷

     It doesn’t matter what diagnosis you have, if you take medication, here comes a label. The only prescription medicine I can think of without a label that comes with it is birth control. 🫄Everything else that you have to see a doctor frequently for makes you “sick.” We have to move from that way of thinking.

     Listen, when you pair taking medication with therapy, it’s like a 1-2 punch. The medication works on the physical & therapy works on the emotional. Some people can cope with one or the other, but pairing them together works wonders. 💯

When Therapy & Medication Threw the Cape on for Me 🦸🏽‍♀️

The Back Story 🔙

Once I really got deep into behavioral health, I pushed therapy, medication management, & coping skills on everyone. My mindset changed to be treatment-based with everyone around me. Putting the work in to better yourself & your life was mandatory. There’s no praying away stuff without moving your feet. 🧎🏽‍♀️‍➡️ BUT I didn’t apply any of that to my own life until life really started lifing. 

     Honey, 2009 rocked my world! I was a single mother, working 2 full-time jobs, in grad school full-time, & still trying to have a social & love life while keeping up with my son’s football schedule & school stuff. Can you say STRESSED??? 😫 Reflecting back on it, I have no clue when or how I slept. I do know that when stuff started crashing in December, it almost took me out.

     At the time, I felt like a failure in love because everyone around me was in a relationship & I couldn’t find 1 dude to commit solely to me. They all wanted me to be totally about them while they were about the streets. My finances were all over the place, trying to raise a kid solo & take care of a house with a yard that needed to be cut. 🏡 I was in the middle of writing my thesis & maxed out on stress & motivation. Self-blame hit me hard.

     I was faced with the decision to change some stuff & eliminate some stressors, so I withdrew from school. What was supposed to be a 6 month hiatus turned into 10 years. Without a refund check to help catch up on bills, I was juggling a lot. 🤹‍♀️ I felt completely alone with no support & nobody I could spill my guts to totally. Pride & trust issues will do that to you.

     It all came to a head when I went solo to see Avatar. On the way home, I belittled myself because I didn’t even have someone to catch a movie with. 🎬 So while all the negative highlights played in my mind, I decide to hit the gas & cut the wheel to the right so I could go off an overpass into highway traffic. Had my son not popped into my thoughts, I probably wouldn’t be here now. That was my guardian angel! 👼🏽 

The Turnaround 🔄

     I put my career skills to the test & did what I’d tell my clients to do: go get help. I drove myself to the emergency room & followed through with taking medication & going to therapy. I added in journaling just to try to unpack my thoughts every night. 📒And that was the inspiration for Intentional Journals.

     Between medication (which I only took for 30 days once I felt better), therapy, & journaling, I slowly started to bounce back. The dynamic duo forced me to take a look in the mirror & be real with myself. 🪞 They helped me to decide what I was willing to let affect me & what I wanted to change so my kids wouldn’t be affected by my issues. Best of all, they helped me to get comfortable with my entire self & with being alone.

     Learning to be alone was an uphill battle. When The Boy was home, it was easy. I could hear noise, I could talk to him, & I didn’t have to 100% deal with myself. But when he’d go spend time with his dad, grandparents, aunts, or godmother, that quiet ate me alive. 🙉 I chose to put my big girl panties on, suck it up, & put in the work. 

     After about a month, I came to value that peace & quiet. In fact, I preferred it to being around people. Shoot I still do prefer it, so much so that I don’t really like leaving the house. My journal became my homegirl, backup therapist, & boyfriend. It stayed with me if I was gone somewhere overnight. That was my safe space. 🤗

Be Intentional About Therapy & Medication 💯

Between how I’ve seen clients evolve over time & reflecting on my own progress, I think it’s important for all of us to put more effort into mental health & change the negative light shining on it. We have to treat it less like a trending topic & more like an important topic to educate people on. 📖

     We should stop reinforcing the stigma of something being wrong with the person & start viewing mental health as a part of life. Don’t pin the blame on mental health when some evil person decides to do a mass shooting. And definitely let go of the thought that a behavioral health hospital is what you see on TV. Many of them look better than regular hospitals. 🏥

There should be no shame in having therapy & medication. Initiating those tools actually shows strength & resilience. No weak person reaches out for help. They just continue to wallow in their pits, which is definitely not the way to go. Pride can stunt your growth, & in this case, it could be deadly. You can pray about it, but God says you have to put actions behind those prayers. Deciding to get help takes courage, & it puts you one step closer to elevating your life. Allow therapy & medication to come in & do what they were made to do: help you out!

     Embrace your diagnosis if you have one. Remember you have it; it doesn’t have you. Take your meds, see a therapist, & develop coping skills. Progress for you equals progress for the generation that comes after you. 💪🏽 Start breaking the cycle now! 

If you’re in need of some help, reach out to Find Treatment to find providers in your area.