Better Together: Relax & Socialize at the Same Time
As much as I love my solo time & don’t mind being antisocial sometimes, I know the power of having a tribe. The saying “it takes a village” is no lie. We certainly can’t do life on our own. God didn’t even leave Adam solo, so why would you be an exception? Let’s discuss how & why we’re better together.
Who? What? Better Together
What does “better together” mean to you? To me, it means elevating my life, being loved & supported, someone having your back, having a solid foundation. You get the point. Not everyone thinks the phrase is true though, & that’s where social self-care comes in.
Group self-care can be relaxing & fun, all rolled into one. When I get with my friends, it’s always planned out. I’m not good at spontaneous stuff since I’m always pulled in 50leven directions. (*Insert Intentional Planner to keep me on track) But even though things have to be planned out, it’s always a vibe!
We’re good for getting together to get lunch or dinner. It seems to be the easiest to plan. The time spent catching up on life & getting lots of laughs is great for the soul. We’ve also been known to do sip & paint, go to conferences or events in the community, & make candles. Regardless, having a few groups of girls that love & support me is something I’ve come to value.
Another piece of being better together is family. I talk about mine all the time. My sisters, aka Dem Miles Guhls, do it for me every time. I think one of the best trips I’ve been on was a sister trip to Vegas, & we didn’t even do much. Eating, doing a little shopping & gambling, & getting matching tattoos was a good time. You don’t always have to be in the mix to have a good time.
When the rest of my family gets together, it’s bound to be loud & filled with laughs. When we used to have Sunday dinners every week, it was time to catch up & give others a chance to relax without having to cook an extravagant meal. The togetherness is laying the foundation for our kids to embrace being tight-knit with your family. Hopefully they’ll learn the value of family through us.
When? Better Together
Technically, there’s no cap on how often you can/should get together with your people. You just have to refill your cup when it’s nearing empty. Some people have to refill their social self-care tank weekly. My daughter is definitely one of those social butterflies. She acts like it’s going to kill her is she can’t go play or be on the phone with one of her lil friends constantly. I can’t keep up!
Now me, on the other hand, I can be social a few sprinkles at a time…meaning I’m good with a quarterly outing with the girls. Between working full-time, handling Intentional business, & my family’s crazy life, I stay tired. All I want to do is lay on the couch in some comfy clothes with a remote or book in hand. That’s that loner in me.
Family is a bit of a different story. I interact with my sisters pretty much every day. We keep something going on in the sister chat or social media chats. I check in on the parentals a few times a week. They move around way more than I do, so I try to keep tabs here & there (even though they think they’re grown). The one person I can be around every day is husbae. We both don’t mind being alone so we can appreciate the quiet togetherness.
Where? Better Together
Social self-care is limitless with options. You might want to stay in sometimes & just vibe over wine or play games with the crew. You can make a list of restaurants you want to try & set a date. Spa dates are always a great way to bond & relax…quietly. Vacation mode gives you a balance of relaxation & adventure. The list goes on & on.
If you feel like you’re running out of ideas though, there are plenty of resources online to help switch it up a little. Check out these other activities that can further define being better together:
- https://notesbythalia.com/social-wellness-how-to-make-self-care-less-lonely/
- https://rackupmoments.com/social-self-care-ideas/
- https://putthekettleon.ca/social-self-care/
Don’t let things get monotonous. Who wants to be a character in Groundhog’s Day? A variety of things is always good for your life. It makes for a well-rounded person.
How? Better Together
Adulting is hectic, at least my adulting is. Some days I have no idea how I’m getting around. My schedule is packed almost every day every week. Due to that & getting older, my energy depletes pretty quickly. In order for me to come out of my social cocoon, I have to schedule it, set a reminder, & hype myself up to follow through.
There’s nothing wrong with being booked & busy. It honestly should be celebrated. But you have to fit some time in to refill your cup. There’s not that much busyness in the world; it’s not good for you. Even God rested after He created the world!
Never fear; we’ve got some answers to the how’s. Use your resources! For example:
- Planners allow you to physically write down all of your important tasks. I have to write things down so they stick a little better, & it’s been pretty effective for me.
- The iCal alerts are set for everything important, MANDATORY! Hearing a sound or feeling a buzz to remind me that I have something to handle prepares me mentally for the task at hand.
- Putting up boundaries & enforcing them works wonders. Sometimes you have to make people value your time just as much as you do. Regardless of whether the boundaries are for certain people, places, things, or times, you deserve to have them respected.
- Know your tribe. You have to know who will show up & show out for you. Those are the ones that are the epitome of “better together.”
As much as some of us enjoy our solitude, we all still need a little bit of TLC & QT with the ones we care about the most. Use this summer to reconnect with your circle. Make memories that last a lifetime!