Reason, Season, Or Lifetime: There’s Levels to Relationships 🥇🥈🥉 (Part 1)

“Relationships last for a reason, season, or lifetime” is something that’s well-known & very true. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it is; every one of them falls into one or more of those categories. 📥 I’ve definitely had a ridiculous amount of connections that fell into the seasonal category, but those that have been in the lifetime one are A-1. 💯

     During this 46 years of life, I’ve lived all around the world: Virginia, Maryland, New York, California, Florida, & Germany. 🌎 That was a gift & a curse when it came to being an Army brat; you got to see the world, but you could never keep lifetime friends. As soon as you got comfortable enough in a school, it was time to move to the next base. 👋🏽 Add that factor to being ridiculously shy, & you get a standoffish chick who doesn’t anticipate getting attached due to how her childhood went. 

     How I reacted to each category of relationships has evolved over that last 20 years. As I matured & experienced more, I changed the way I viewed connections (or lack thereof) & how to navigate them. It’s all based on vibes, reciprocity, & the impact the person has on my life. This is how I break my relationships down…🗂️

Lifetime Relationships aka Family 🥰

We’re going to start this thing off on a positive note. The few lifetime relationships aren’t friends to me after they’ve gotten to the point they’re in that category. They’re people that have been there during my worst times, people who allowed me to vent when I needed to get things off my chest, people who didn’t judge me for the stupid decisions I’ve made, people who know the most about Meia & what I stand for. Once you’ve gotten to the point where I open up freely to you, you’ve been initiated into my family. 🫂

     Not everyone agrees with it, but genetic family & real family are 2 different things to me. Lots of people think blood is thicker than water, & that’s true SCIENTIFICALLY (duh!). 🩸💧 In my younger years, I was all for that saying. My parents raised us with the mentality of “if 1 fights, all 4 better be fighting.” They raised us to remember that there’s no other bond stronger than siblings, & I can say that’s facts with my sisters. 

     On the other hand, I’ve experienced some serious betrayals by blood as well. A lot of people eople will call you everything but a child of God & throw you under the bus if it means saving themselves. 🚌 Money has a way of driving a wedge between family members. Your lifestyle choices might not be for everybody, but none of that matters to me. If you’re down for me, I’m down for you, period! But there are levels to my lifetime folks…

Level 1 Crew: Husbae & The Sisters 

     My man my man my man is my best friend! 💍 We talk about everything, no matter how insignificant we may feel things are. I think I get more scoop from him than he gets from me. His consistency is something I’ve never experienced before. The balance he gives my life, the good times regardless of where we are, the things I learn from him, the way he loves me…this man shows up & shows out every time! 

     I took our vows seriously, so lifetime isn’t optional.  Nobody gets married to get divorced, but marriage takes work. It’s not for everybody. With the right foundation & communication, married life can seem effortless. 💪🏽 We pluck each other’s nerves here & there, but there won’t be divorce papers being drawn up over here! 

     #DemMilesGuhls, as I affectionately call our sisterhood, have seen & been through so much mess together that it pushed us to be naturally close. We’re DOWN down, you hear me? 🤞🏽 Those 3 have had my back, fed me, traveled with me, calmed me down, had me blackout mad at a few people a couple of times, & shared soooooo many great memories with me that it’s pretty much impossible to tear down that connection. We piss each other off, but we’re locked in. Straight like dat! 💯

Level 2 Crew: The Parentals & Chirren 

     Naturally my parents & kids are also in the lifetime category. My parents gave me life, so I’m going to be connected to them forevaaaaa (in my Cardi B voice). As I’ve gotten older, experienced more, & developed my own values, my relationships with them have been tweaked at times, but they’ll always be a part of my life. 🥰 Now my kids…nothing to say here except those 3 boys & that lil girl are 4 of the few I’ll sit in a cell behind. Mama Bear’s got y’all at your best or worst. We’re in this for life!

Level 3.1 Crew: Other Blood 

     Outside of those, the rest of my genetic family are on different levels. Not a soul is on the same level with my sisters nor my parents. 🙅🏽‍♀️ However, there are a few that reciprocate my energy, so I’m pretty sure they’ll fall into the lifetime category. Weird thing is I talk to 2 cousins more who found me on Ancestry.com a few years ago than I do cousins I grew up with. It’s all love, but again, there’s levels to this thing.

Level 3.2 Crew: Friends Turned Fam

     Like I said before, friendships don’t come easily for me. I just don’t put a lot of trust into people quickly or easily. I’d either get attached & have to move (without the internet & social media, keeping in touch was a pain), or I’d be so closed off that I didn’t give it a chance. As I’ve matured, I’ve learned that being open is a wonderful thing that can lead to some life-changing situations. You just have to be willing to take a gamble. 🎰

     My longest friendship goes back to high school. Since 1992, we’ve been through some peaks & valleys, honey. 🏜️🏔️ And from my crew back then, I only keep in touch in “real life” (meaning outside of social media) with 1. It’s sad because we were thick as thieves back then, but drama occurred & only 1 is still standing. At least there’s 1 though!

     Along with that person, her sister has become very close to me too. She’s one of the few people I’m willing to talk to before the sun wakes up (since we’re both up at ungodly hours working). 🌅 Again, judgment-free zone, shows up every time, & has been a serious factor in my life & those of my kids. We’re locked it!

     Behind those 2 friends-turned family, my other people have been around 15 years or less. One of my closest ones passed away, & it tore me up for a bit. 🥺 She was the one person who could read me through the phone & be so on point with what I was experiencing. I’m not sure there will ever be another person who is that intuitively intertwined with me.

     Some other lifetime relationships developed at work. Ironically, I don’t like to mix business & pleasure, so for me to have connected with them & get comfortable enough to let them into the things I protect the most was crazy! 😱 They can come to my house (something I rarely allow people to do. You just can’t have everybody’s energy in your sanctuary). These people have been down for me & helped me through so much, from pregnancy to financial hardships. I can’t help but call them family. 

     The last couple of people I’ve met through others who are close to me. They may not all know as much about all of the sides of me, but they’ve experienced enough with me for me to feel 100% comfortable with them. They allowed me to see that it’s possible to build friendships in different circles. More importantly, I learned that it’s NECESSARY to have diverse relationships, whether it’s age, gender, sexual orientation, race, nationality, economic, educational, business, etc. 💯 It’s the only way to really learn & grow.

     I’ve been writing nonstop & before I knew it, this post was waaaaaaay too long. Ain’t nobody trying to read a book, so we’ll pick back up next week with the season & reason relationships. 📖 Until then, feel free to tap in about who your lifetime folks are. Mine are a major blessing!