Keeping Connections: Social Well-Being After Quarantine 👭😷

COVID did a doozy on some people’s social lives! 💣 They went from being OUTSIDE outside to solitary confinement (or close to it). It was like it was the end of the world for some, but for me & my antisocial social self, I was in heaven! 🙌🏽 I didn’t mind having to stay in my house; we’d just bought it so there was a lot to do around there. Plus, I like my family so it didn’t feel like torture to me. Keeping connections outside of our home was the only real challenge I had, but I made it through. 

     The pandemic forced us to get innovative when it came to the new way of living, & lack of physical touch can take a toll on your mental. Technology use was at an all-time high to communicate with others. 📱💻 And being “trapped” inside with the same person for weeks made or broke a lot of relationships. Let’s reflect on my journey of not really being locked down but seeming to still keep connections…

Keeping Connections: Act 1 – Pre-COVID 🥳

The world was jumping before COVID went rampant. 🪩🍾 There was so much to do to keep your social self-care top notch. New restaurants & bars popped up left & right. Gym rats could get their fitness on 24/7. The highways stayed packed to & from work. Everyone was in motion, full steam ahead. 

     My family had an off & on routine of rotating hosting Sunday dinners. Each week, a sibling or a parent would slave in the kitchen for 11-17 of us, & we’d have food, folks, & fun. It was always a vibe. That’s just what it’s like to hang out with the Miles crew, duhhhh. 💁🏽‍♀️

     Work stayed pretty lit as well. Our department takes nothing seriously. We can find the fun in almost any situation, & we moved as a unit (1 band, 1 sound). 🥁 We had a fishbowl with different restaurants in the area that we picked from every week to order lunch together. And we stayed being shushed for being too loud. It made work feel less like work.

     Vacations were super laid back. Resorts & airports always had plenty of business. We stayed on the go; whether it was a quick road trip or a flight across the country’s borders. 🛫🛣️ Summertime hot or wintertime cold, we stayed on the move, making as many memories as we could. We LIVED…until the world shut down.

Keeping Connections: Act 2 – COVID Lockdown 😷

I’ll never forget: we’d just come back from my birthday trip to Cancun (& man we had a time there). Reports of the unknown virus were spreading across the world, & everyone was in a panic about not getting sick. 😱 It wasn’t 2 weeks after we came back that quarantine hit & anxiety set in for many people. Everyone had to stay home unless you were an essential worker.

     We both had to still work, so we were a little apprehensive about how that would affect our household. Husbae would be in & out of people’s apartments, coming in contact with tens of people daily. I still had to go to the office, where we were so close together that we could turn around & high five each other. Temperature checks, mandatory hand washing, bottles of hand sanitizer, & uncomfortable masks were the way of life. 🌡️🧼 Poor husbae even had on a hazmat suit when he’d go into apartments. It was insane!

     Where I used to run into traffic during the 45 minute ride to & from work, the streets were empty. Like “I Am Legend” empty. The couple of times I had to work at the hospital had me stripping at the door & going straight to the shower. 🚿 And eventually my department was made to transition to work from home since we couldn’t social distance; something we had to develop from the ground up since we were still working with paper faxes. It got done though, & we haven’t been back to the office since.

     Grocery store runs were weird. They were never packed, & it was hell to find toilet paper, Lysol, Clorox wipes, & hand sanitizer. People were hoarding them. This is when I discovered grocery delivery. 🛒 I’d use it from time to time but didn’t see the point in paying someone to drive literally a mile to my house from the store. Plus people were so paranoid that they were spraying Lysol on everything, something I preferred to avoid doing. It was a hustle though.

     Husbae & I indulged in 2 activities: binge watching shows & going to the torture chamber aka the home gym we invested in when the stimulus checks started coming in. 📺💪🏽 Those 2 things kept us entertained & took the monotony out of the days. I actually began to enjoy working out & would push myself to go even when I wasn’t feeling it. I was disciplined AF, & it was a way of us bonding more.

     There wasn’t much for me to do outside of work, so I took a little under a year & finished my Masters in Psychology. 👩🏽‍🎓 It kept me busy, & my mind didn’t turn to mush. Then I decided to start a business, so that kept me busy after I finished my degree. Boredom doesn’t do well around these parts. I found things to occupy my time & brain so I didn’t feel like being on lockdown was so bad.

     Since we couldn’t gather without crazy restrictions, our FaceTime group calls were a trip. My family & I would be on there for no reason. Friends connected either in group chats or on social media. I had to entertain the lil girl since she couldn’t go to school in person or play with anyone her age. 👩🏽‍🏫 After working all day every day & making sure she completed her school work so she could successfully pass kindergarten, I just didn’t have much energy to play Barbies.

     Social life was nonexistent, but I didn’t mind since I’m not big on being out around a lot of people. We didn’t know anyone since we’d just bought our house, so there was no one to socialize with. Since you had to keep 6 feet between others, I didn’t have to worry about anyone being right up on me in the line at the store. I could be antisocial in peace! 🧘🏽‍♀️

Keeping Connections: Act 3 – Our New Open World 🌎 

Once the world started getting more information on what COVID was, how to prevent it, & how to treat it, things slowly opened back up. We started having family dinners again. We just sat spread out on our back porch instead of all being near each other. We bought custom masks for the boy’s 18th birthday & our vow renewal so we wouldn’t have to skip celebrating important dates. It was a guaranteed way to stimulate the economy though; 💸 certain things were necessities so you had no choice but to buy them.

     We became pros at COVID testing because poor husbae had it 4 times & certain places required testing to go. 🧪Somehow I only got it once & didn’t even realize what it was until I was out of the quarantine window. It was the worst body aches & chills I’ve ever had. We got the vaccine because we didn’t want to be limited if we traveled. There was no way I was going to be trapped in the U.S. if I didn’t have to be. The whole pandemic was a roller coaster. 🎢 

     As the world started to slowly open back up, I started getting my social self-care on a little more. I met friends at restaurants & went on a few trips. Having to get COVID tests & tote a vaccination card around didn’t matter to me. That little bit of social interaction every now & then was enough for me. 🤷🏽‍♀️

     I enjoyed the restricted time. It gave me time to focus on finishing my degree, getting in shape, starting Intentional & developing products, spending more time with family, & not have to be socially uncomfortable at times. It also forced people to give me space & not touch me (I don’t like people I don’t know to touch me. You have to be leery of the energy others have.) I’ve always enjoyed the quiet of being alone with a good book, & I didn’t need an excuse to not be bothered. I just had to balance being a little social every now & then with my new normal. ⚖️

     Reconnecting in person with my people was refreshing though. I’m not a “talk on the phone” type person so constantly getting calls & FaceTime requests had me doing an eye roll quite frequently. I’m on the phone for 10 hours a day at work so the last thing I want to do when I get off is be on a phone. 📵 I did enjoy being able to catch up on life when I’d get out & about though. My circle always helps me to refill my cup.

Keeping Connections: Act 4 – The Final Act 🏁

Now, I still stay in my little bubble at home, but I’ve began to push myself through the discomfort to get to know new folks. You can’t limit yourself on the people you have in your life. Everyone has something to offer that you can learn, & I intend to have as many resources & motivators as possible around me, especially community & business ones. 💯 I’ve met some dope people in the last 2 years too, ones that genuinely want to see others win & are willing to help you do that. I’ve seriously been blessed in that department!

     Staying connected to my family is a must. Everyone is getting older, & you never know how much time you have left with them. ⌛️There have been ups & downs, but I love my people (even if it’s from a distance for some). Watching these kids grow up & become their own people has been amazing, & I pray each of them maximizes their blessings. What I have & have experienced needs to be a fraction of what they receive & experience. I won’t have them boxed in, thinking that life exists only in the Charlotte, NC area. I want them to spread their wings & fly high! 🦅

     The pandemic shed light on many things for many people. 💡 We learned to treasure our social interactions & physical contact with loved ones. Many people learned about hand hygiene & personal space (I did my share of not shaking hands & moving away from folks who came too close to me). We learned to value the limited amount of time we truly have on this Earth with others. And we learned to be innovative with so many situations. 

     Relationships were strengthened or broken when people had no choice but to spend time together. Some found out who their partners really were, in good & bad ways. Some figured out that they’d been forcing something that wasn’t meant to be, while others saw the value in their partners & bonded even more. A few saw friendships for what they were once they weren’t giving everything to another person. And many did a deep dive into who they really were & what they want for the future. 🤔💭

     All in all, COVID was a gift & a curse for our social self-care. We may have lost out on face-to-face time & getting outside for a few years, but at least we all made it through still breathing. 🙌🏽 Life is too short for mess; maximize the positives & actually LIVING!