Set the Mood for a Great Date With Sleep 🛌😴

Who would’ve known that 3 words would mean so much to me as I got older: set the mood. And I’m not talking about setting the mood for a night of romance; I’m talking about setting the mood for a good night’s sleep. 💤 A good night’s sleep is something that’s foreign to me every so often, but when I make an effort, things come out well. It all starts with your method, so let’s get into mine. 🔄

How to Set the Mood😌🧘🏽‍♀️

I used to think that going to bed was just something that had no routine. Even though I’m a creature of habit, getting ready for bed was the most random “routine” I had going. And when I say random, I mean it went however & wherever the wind blew me. I’d be on the go until I got damn near exhausted, & then I’d rush through showering, journaling, & hitting the sack. 😩🥱 It just happened whenever.

     I’ve started to understand that ending your day should be just as routine as beginning your day. 🌅🌄 Because of that, I made a New Year’s resolution to get my life a bit more organized so I can feel more rested, more organized, & less stressed. I started listening to the Brown Girl Self-Care podcast on Apple Music a little over a year ago. 🎧 The podcaster Bre gives it to you straight, but it’s in such a motivating way.

Since I started listening to that podcast, I’ve gained so much insight into how I can switch up my self-care routine & have gotten some insight into some of the struggles that many Black women face. From mental health to career decisions, Bre touches plenty of topics that resonate with your soul! I highly recommend taking a listen on whatever podcast platform you use. She won’t disappoint!

     That podcast was the inspiration for my new morning & nighttime routines, especially adding the white boards for added organization & motivation. I do way more in the morning than I do at night, but the tasks give me a chance to really wind down 😌 (except on Monday nights when That Lil Girl has cheerleading practice 📣). I had no clue how much of a difference a few minor changes could make until I made them!

Setting the Mood: The Method 🤔💭

Spiritual Self-Care

     Between 7-8pm, I jumpstart my nighttime wind down routine by reading at least one chapter of the Bible. 🛐  I’ve always wanted to read the Bible cover to cover, so I’ve been consistently reading every night in 2024. After I finish with reading (which is usually 2-5 chapters), I give myself some time to talk to God. 🙏🏽🧎🏽‍♀️ When I feel the need, I also write down specific prayers & add them to my prayer wall (we’ll save what that is for another time). Doing these 2 things allow me to get into a more positive frame of mind as I transition from hustle hard to chill mode. Great way to start off my evening routine.

Physical Self-Care

     After my time with God, I’ll usually jump in the shower. 🚿🧼 Depending on how I’m feeling, I might turn off the lights, light some candles, & get clean by candlelight. 🕯️ It’s just enough light to see what I’m doing but not too much that it stops my mind from beginning to chill. At times, I’ll also add a shower bomb to the steam. Aromatherapy definitely helps with the mood. By the time I finish that, I’m halfway through to getting into bed & starting to feel more relaxed.

Intellectual, Social, Financial, & Professional Self-Care

     Next up is letting go of today & preparing for tomorrow. This is where the 2 white boards come in: one to track what I did for self-care for the day & one to develop my game plan for tomorrow. 🗓️📋 The white board calendar is a way to hold myself accountable for doing some form of self-care every day, no matter how minor it may seem. Something is always better than nothing. 😉

     The other white board is for me to write my affirmation for the next day & my primary & backup plans. I read the affirmation before I get out of bed each morning, & it allows me to have a positive mindset to begin the day. 😘🤗 Plan A consists of 2-3 tasks I absolutely have to get done that next day. I put in the effort to prioritize those things so I can progress towards my goals & not feel too overwhelmed. Plan B is a few things that I’ll get done if I have a chance & the energy to do so. However, if they’re not done, it won’t have an impact on anything else I have going on. With my seemingly unending to-do list, I have to make myself create some balance. ⚖️

     Next, my Intentional products enter the picture. 📚 I whip out my Intentional Planner so I can block off time for the important tasks the next day. I also check off what I accomplished that day. It serves as a method to track my progress. It also allows me to see how much time I may have to do things that aren’t on my priority list like reading, doing some extra cleaning, or resting. Additionally, I can review & tweak my budget & goals.⏳

Mental & Emotional Self-Care
     My Intentional Journal allows me to unload everything in my head from the day. There are days I write a whole page & others that I barely write 3 sentences. As long as I can free my mind some, I’m able to relax a bit more before getting into the bed. I also get to count my blessings & reflect on any lessons or good quotes I encountered during the day. 🥰 Ending on a positive note somewhat takes my brain off of anything stressful that’s going on. 

     The final two pieces of the nighttime routine are calming: meditation & yoga. 🧘🏽‍♀️ My Calm app has a variety of meditation options, from sleep to mindful eating to relaxing sounds. I usually just listen to the Daily Calm, which is a 10-12 minute meditation with a message at the end. I keep a background sound of rushing water going so I can have a focus point. Then husbae & I head over to YouTube to find an evening yoga session. It gives us a chance to relax, bond, & stretch before hopping into bed. 🛌 Yoga is always a great way to relax, relate, release!

The Atmosphere

     The only other requirements I have to get a good night’s rest involve three senses: sight, sound, & touch. 🙈🙉 I can’t sleep when it’s light, no matter how tired I am. I even have a hard time sleeping after working overnight, & I usually only end up dozing off for 2 hours & going to bed earlier than usual that night.  And when I say it has to be dark, I mean nothing on: no curtains open, no door open, & no lights or TV on. Pitch black!

     I also need silence in the room. My attention will be pulled away to whatever is on, so all electronics need to be silenced too.  🤫🤐 That’s the main reason I schedule DND every night. Falling asleep is hard enough without interruptions, & being interrupted will only make me have to start the wind down process all over again. I still have no idea how I slept in college when my BFF had to have a fan on to sleep or now with husbae’s snoring. Guess my tune-out game is impeccable!

     The final requirement is the temperature. 🥵🥶 It can’t be too cold or too hot in the room. Either extreme will alter the way I sleep. Being too hot makes me toss & turn, & I have trouble breathing. Freezing makes me bury myself in the covers but also makes it hard for me to get comfortable. Give me a good 68-70 degrees, & I’ll sleep like a baby. 👶🏽🍼

The Benefits of Setting the Mood 🙌🏽

Now that I have a method to the madness, I feel more rested even when I get less sleep. I think the consistency has made my body & mind know when it’s time to get ready to lay it down. I can say I feel more productive during the day with my consistent schedule. Once my reminder goes off that it’s time to settle down, I put myself on a time limit to get the routine going. 

     Physically, I feel like I have more energy. I used to drag most of the day prior to developing a routine. My energy was super low, & I always felt tired. 😩 I sure didn’t have enough energy to think about exercising, much less doing it. Now, I get at least 3 workouts in per week after work. 

     Mentally, my symptoms of depression & anxiety are very minimal. I take my meds around the same time each morning, but I also make sure I prioritize this self-care routine so I can feel mentally sound. Sleep disturbances definitely contribute to mental health; look it up. I get way more done & am more focused too. I can sit for hours focused on a task & not burn out. 🧘🏽‍♀️ All good!

     I think this has been one of the longest routines I’ve ever kept. I’m quick to get bored, so I’ll quit something in a heartbeat. I think the only other thing that’s lasted long-term is journaling. 📝 It’s just become a part of who I am, so hopefully this one will stick too. So far so good! 

     Now I have no idea how much I’ll abide by my morning & nighttime routines the next week since I’m on vacation. However, I plan on making an effort to do most of them since they work so well for me. I won’t make any promises though. The beach, warm weather, adult drinks, good food, & fun with family are calling…& I’m answering on the first ring! 🚢🏝️