Make Your New Routine Be Routine 

Being a creature of habit is a gift & a curse. On one hand, I have a sense of structure, don’t have to worry about what I’m supposed to do & when, & it allows me to allot time for my priorities when I have a consistent routine 🗓️. On the other hand, it can be monotonous, I get flustered when something goes out of whack, & people know how you move 👀. Finding the balance between the two has elevated my life though. Let’s compare & contrast 2023 versus 2024 thus far…

2023 Routine…Or Not So Routine

Last year was a blur! I can remember moments here & there, but I had so much going on that there are very few things that stand out for me. I remember my birthday trip aka Cruise Camp & the ridiculously good time we had 🛳️🏝️. I remember our family vacation to Orlando that I still need a do-over for ✈️😫. I remember seeing my family in VA for a quick weekend trip 🥃 💃🏽. And I remember the last 2 months because I enjoyed my family during the holidays🎉. Notice the recurrent theme of traveling & partying 😜?!

     Unfortunately, a lot of the in-between was filled with the hustle & bustle of adulthood. The getting up 4 days a week to sit at a desk for 10+ hours per day 👩🏽‍💻. The waking That Lil Girl up for school & having to tell her 35 times to get up & get ready 🛌. The still getting up early on Fridays, despite being off, & being the carpool queen with a weekly trip to McDonald’s for hashbrowns & Sprite before school with my lil broke best friends 💸 (That Lil Girl & her crew). Every day was the same: alarm goes off at 5:15, I procrastinate until about 5:30, & hit the ground running to get dressed & rush to work before 6 (downstairs). Ever seen the movie Groundhog Day? That was me, honey 😒.

     The rest of the day during the work week was just as predictable. The dog goes out early AF & then again when I grab a snack around 10:30 🐾🥨. I take lunch at 12:30 🥪. Have to make sure That Lil Girl does her homework when she comes in from school📄. Get off, make dinner👩🏽‍🍳, kick it on the couch a little with husbae if time permitted👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏾, shower 🧼, put my Intentional Journal to use 📝 , & then end up trying to watch tv or read until I finally could fall asleep sleep 📺📖. The whole day was rushed, & by the time Friday came along, all I wanted to do was sit on the couch. Booooooriiiiiiiiiing!

     I enjoyed knowing how my day would go with this routine, but I hated not feeling like I was making the most of it all. I had started the year off planning more, but quickly fell off & would just wing it most days. I had my plans in my mind & some iCal alerts set📆⏰, but I wasn’t maximizing my strengths nor time. I need to see things on paper to hold myself accountable. So without the accountability, there wasn’t much progress in my eyes. Like the saying goes, “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” My lack of planning led to slacking on my self-care while reminding everyone else to prioritize theirs.

     Don’t get me wrong; I do prioritize a getaway every quarter for self-care. However, what adds up to about 4-5 weeks out of 52 wasn’t cutting it in 2023. I was on a hamster wheel in fast forward & stayed exhausted mentally & physically🥱. I was skimping on pouring into myself. Lord forbid someone had somewhere to be or something to do throughout the day, & my anxiety & fatigue would hit the roof having to add to my busy schedule 😬😩! I had no energy & no time for anything that really mattered. It wasn’t working, so I had to have a huddle with myself & form a game plan to kick off 2024 more effectively.

2024 Routine Kicks Off Flawlessly 

By the end of 2023, I was running on fumes. I was tired of hitting the floor running & feeling like my head wasn’t clear enough for me to really thrive. I slapped myself & pledged to prioritize myself💆🏽, my self-care🧘🏽‍♀️, & my goals in 2024🥅.  It was time to put feet to pavement, practice what I preach consistently, & commit to putting all of my tools to use. 

     The last couple of days of last year gave me clarity. Being away from home, the kids, & work allowed me to let my hair down, rest, & clear my head while I kicked it with husbae 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏾. Gatlinburg was exactly what I needed: fresh mountain air & pretty views 🏞️ with no set plans except our anniversary dinner. The ride there was scenic but also gave me time to begin to plan my goals & affirmations for the year to come. I got so much done on that ride & felt more confident in how I’d kick off 2024.

     I wanted more: more energy, more me time, more clarity, more money, more focus, more more more🙏🏽🙌🏽. The rushed life wasn’t cutting it, so I revamped my morning & nighttime routines. I was determined to not procrastinate after the alarm went off & speed through the morning, so I changed up my alarms. 

     Getting up 45 minutes earlier during the work week was hard the first 2 days, but I forced myself to get up & would be fully awake about 15 minutes into my tasks😴🥱. I also set an alarm for weekend mornings since I usually have obligations early in the day as well. Now, 6:30 is set, but I allow myself some grace if I know I need the rest & have nothing to do that morning. Here’s my new morning routine: 

• Read my daily devotionals🙏🏽: There are some devotionals I subscribe to & some apps I have that spiritually feed me. Two devotionals come from the iBelieve website. They have all kinds of things to read that give you the encouragement you need & strengthen your faith. I also read the Daily Text in the JW app & the study for the day on the First 5 app. Getting that time in the draw closer to God while the world is still quiet gets my mind right for the day.

I’d already been reading all these things in the morning for a few years, so this wasn’t hard to do. As I’ve matured, I’ve developed a bigger interest in spiritual things, so it’s a must that I start my day off with the Lord. It’s very calming!

• Read my affirmations: This is also something I’ve been doing for years. At the beginning of each new year, I find affirmations that I feel are aligned with my goals & that will remind me of who TF I am 😉😘. We all need little reminders here & there about our worth, so I set each on a timer in my Reminders app, & I read them each morning for the entire year. 

To find my affirmations, I usually will Google some. There are so many websites that have lists & lists of affirmations, so I pick 5-8 & set those alarms. This was the first year I freestyled one ✍🏽 though because I really want to break away from being an enabler. It’s better for them, but, more importantly, it’s better for me!

• Meditate: My Calm sessions were normally at lunchtime & before bed. They help my mind to reset🧘🏽‍♀️. Since there’s no daily limit & they have a vast selection of meditations, I moved my lunchtime session to the morning. Starting off with Jay Shetty’s gems get me focused on something positive before the day begins💎. That 7 minutes works wonders to get your mind on track. I still keep my Daily Calm session at bedtime though. 

• Read my whiteboard: This is a new entry into my routine. There’s a podcast I frequent that is all about self-care🎧. Brown Girl Self-Care is the truth! Bre Mitchell’s voice is calming, but she has a ton of good info to apply to your life. She suggested 6 things for 2024:
  1. Putting a calendar on your refrigerator🗓️: I bought 2 calendars for this. One holds all of the family’s appointments & important dates for the month. I even color coded it so people know whose events are on what day. The other is a second weekly calendar for meal planning & to list items we’re running low on. Meal planning helps avoid That Lil Girl & The Boy from asking, “what you cooking today?” Now I can say, “go read!”
  2. Getting a whiteboard calendar 🗓️: This is strictly to hold me accountable for doing some self-care daily. At the end of each day, I track what I did for myself for self-care. If I haven’t done something by then, I make myself do something before bed. #Accountability 
  3. Getting a blank whiteboard🖍️: Bre suggested using a whiteboard to write your affirmation, plan A, & plan B for the next day. I choose one thing I want to make sure I realize the next day & set a few priorities that I intend to complete. It’s a good written reminder of what really needs to be done (Plan A) & what can get done if I feel like it & have time (Plan B).
  4. Dating yourself quarterly🥰: Taking yourself on a date isn’t something most people think about. I definitely don’t. Although I love my alone time, going out to eat  & sitting in a restaurant solo is awkward for ya girl. I did it last week though: took myself to Starbucks & forced myself to sit inside with my coffee & croissant & just people watch☕️🥐. It was different but not as bad as I thought it’d be. Maybe I’ll try something more extensive for the next solo date.
  5. Going on a solo trip 🧳: I’ve been wanting to do this for awhile, but the way my brain works has me a lil paranoid. All I can think of is “Taken” & my people having to come rescue my lil tail. Also, husbae ain’t with me traveling solo (he’s a true protector, honey). I’m going to strive to do something small for a weekend to see exactly how I’d spend my time. It’d be nice to just rest, eat, & read though. 
  6. Taking a think week 🤔: The purpose of the think week is to get clarity. I constantly have so much going on that I really need to take a think week a few times a year. It’ll give me time to decompress & come up with my next plan of action towards my goals.

But back to the whiteboard…I check what I wrote the previous night so I can set my focus for the day. That way I have it in my mind of what’s most important & what to put first. Everything outside of those 2-3 things just falls where it may. No pressure, no stress!

• Do some yoga 🧘🏽‍♀️ : This is another newby for me. I don’t have a lot of time in the morning, so I made a list of 5 minute morning yoga sessions from YouTube. Each day, I just pick one & stretch the overnight kinks out, while energizing my body & calming my mind. 

• Drink 8 oz of water & some coffee before reading any texts or emails & taking any calls💧☕️🚫: My busy mind & hands would immediately get to work when I opened my eyes. Straight to clearing out texts, emails, & social media alerts I went, & that was getting in the way of me really investing in my self-care in the mornings. Now, I have all apps blocked except those I need for my morning routine until after I handle my mental, spiritual, & physical self-care NON-NEGOTIABLE!

     I added a few things to my nighttime routine as well so I could really feel like I was starting to tell my brain 🧠“time to chill, homegirl.” I still get my Daily Calm session in on the Calm app & unload my brain in my Intentional Journal, but I had to put a few more things in there to wind down more effectively. This lil reel shows you what I do: 

     I think the parts I enjoy the most about the evening routine are having tea & doing yoga with my boo 🫖🧘🏽‍♀️. I’ve successfully roped him into some self-care after work. We go downstairs together, pick a tea out, & sit at the table to decompress about our day. And getting a good stretch in before retiring for the evening feels so good! My favorites are Yoga with Adriene & Yoga with Bird on YouTube. They have so many different things to choose from, & they start at a beginner level.

     Adding a spiritual piece to my evenings keeps me connected to God throughout the day 😇. It’s also calming while allowing me to read & learn some new things. Putting Bre’s suggestions on the blank whiteboard & whiteboard calendar into effect help me to make sure I do some self-care daily, & not just when there is a 31 Day Self-Care Challenge going on. My whiteboard also reminds me not to overload my schedule for each day & that it’s ok to not get everything done every day🤷🏽‍♀️. 

     Consistently using my Intentional Planner keeps me on track for my goals & priorities. Having the day start at 4am & end after 10pm allows me to see how many hours are in my long day & makes me more comfortable with scheduling my me time daily. I’m a visual person, so writing things down & being able to review them whenever I want helps keep me motivated. I just compare what’s in my iCal to what I write on the whiteboard & block off time for refilling my cup. 

     Overall, my new routine has been beneficial. Getting up earlier allows me that much needed quiet time. I can get my mind right before officially beginning my day & having to interact with others. My attitude has been better. My inner Omarion level of being unbothered is starting to really kick it🧘🏽‍♀️. It might be scaring people that I’m not sweating the small stuff & not popping off as much. I feel like I have more energy during the day & have only felt like I was dragging if I had broken sleep or didn’t drink enough water the previous day. All added bonuses to my life!

     Making myself break away from my phone & communicating after a certain time have also been refreshing. I’m beginning to like my boundaries & get annoyed if someone violates my “after the DND kicks in” rule. It’s giving my brain more of an opportunity to shut down & giving me time to read something for leisure before going to sleep if I feel like it (I’ve finished book #1 of the year already 📚). I guess you can say I’m an advocate for a routine now…a self-care routine! Get yours in order just because you deserve to!