Blood May Be Thicker Than Water, But How Is That? It’s Not What You Think It Means

We’ve all heard it: “blood is thicker than water.” It comes out of people’s mouths so quickly, especially when they’re comparing themselves to someone who isn’t “family.” The well-known saying isn’t being used correctly though. It actually means the opposite. Let me drop this knowledge on you…

The True Meaning of Blood is Thicker Than Water

Because this last month of 2023 is focused on family, I got curious about where the saying “blood is thicker than water” came from. I figured it had something to do with family bonds & maybe outsiders invading territory, but that’s far from the case. It doesn’t mean that family that is related genetically is a stronger bond than the families you marry into or consider family because of your love for them. It means the opposite.

     The first time it was used was in a Biblical context: “blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb.” A covenant is a serious promise made, so it infers being extremely strong. Additionally, people were known to make a blood covenant in the past (sacrificing animals or cutting their palms), signifying how seriously they felt about something. The water in a womb when a pregnant woman gives birth is emptied out, therefore showing it doesn’t last forever. There’s no comparison with those two. One signifies forever, while the other signifies temporary.

     Another meaning refers to soldiers in battle. Bloodshed on a battlefield bonds people tighter, essentially a trauma bond. Soldiers already form a bond during basic training, so intense times bring them closer. Being away from their families causes them to create support outside of their blood family. Couple that with trauma & that bond can never be broken. 

     The way we use the saying now goes back to the 12th century. It was then said that people had more of a responsibility to their family than to others. It evolved into the proverb we know now, & it became something frequently used to remind people of the importance of family. Family is a value for most people, but it doesn’t just refer to blood ties.

My Take on “Blood is Thicker Than Water”

I’m torn with this saying because for some people it’s true, while others…not so much. It all depends on how much we’ve been through & how much you’ve had my back throughout life. In most cases, blood family ties had nothing to do with whether someone was a ride or die for me.

My Parentals

Nothing else to say except these 2 words: mom & dad. Those Miles parents are something special! They go hard for their kids, but they’ll also check you when you’re on some bs. I’m not sure how many parents would have an open door policy when it comes to their kids needing to move back home. If husbae & I lost everything right now, we’d have rooms waiting to be occupied 15 minutes away at Wanda & Carlton’s house. 

     Needless to say, if you even breathe my parents’ way wrong, prepare for war. They have 4 daughters that are TTG & will act a whole fool in the blink of an eye. They won’t ever have to worry about a thing as long as their daughters are living. 

Them Miles Guhls

Babyyyyyy, my little sisters are my main crew. We’ve been through so much together, & through it all, we’ve never allowed one another to fall. We were raised to take care of each other, & that’s just what we do. Any one of us can call each other for anything; whether it’s to see what you cooked for dinner, need the kids watched, or to knuck if you buck with them. 

     There have been several times I’ve gotten blackout mad over them. I’ve been escorted out of clubs, threatened dudes way bigger than me, & waited on the hood of my car for cops to come all over my sisters. Those are my babies, so when one jumps, we all jump. Our group chats & FaceTimes are litty. We can go on vacation & barely do anything but have a ball. #MilesGuhls4Life ya heard me?

My Extended Blood Family

I definitely have deeper bonds with some more than others. Because we didn’t grow up in one place our whole lives, my sisters & I didn’t get the benefit of really growing up with our cousins. We saw each other annually, but it wasn’t a regular thing. As we’ve all become adults, our busy lives keep us more distant than not. 

     I have cousins, aunts, & uncles on both sides of my family that I talk to, & plenty who don’t even have my phone number. The vibes are just different. I can relate to some more than others. I’ve been through more things with some than others. Some I talk to several times a month, while social media is the gist of the relationship with others. There’s no less love there, but the loyalty hits different with some than with others.

Husbae

Chiiiiiiiile, talk about cheesing with my hair laid, lip gloss poppin, & showing all 32 pearly whites in a mugshot! I don’t play about my man my man my man! He’s held me down through some of the worst times of my life. He’s an all around genuinely good person, so he deserves all of the love & loyalty I have in my body.

     When we said our vows (both times), I meant every word. There was no blood sacrifice, but that covenant is rock solid. When you have a good person, you have to value them. In this evil world, good folks seem to come few & far between, so when you find one, hold on to them tightly & show them how much they mean to you!

Them Chirren

Although I have 2 children I carried, I have 4 kids. My bonus sons are my kids. IDC who likes it, loves it, feels indifferent, or hates it; all 4 children are OUR CHILDREN. Just like I’ll lay somebody out over the oldest & youngest, I’ll lay somebody out over the middle 2. No matter how old they get, they’ll know they have 2 people that’ll rock with them til the wheels fall off. 

     Blended families can be challenging, but when you love someone with kids, you have to love the kids too. That’s a package deal I’d never try to renegotiate, & I’m thankful I’ve never had to choose between my kids & anyone else. Whether they have half of my DNA or we share the same last name, I’m gonna be mama bear til the day I die.

My Chosen Family

I have people I call family that have no blood or marriage ties to me. My Crump family have been present for every milestone in mine & my sisters’ lives. They’re my parents’ best friends, but that’s my aunt & uncle. I think I go just as hard for their kids (our cousins) as I do for my sisters. When you have people that are there for you more than your blood family are, they’re FAMILY, periodt! That’s another guaranteed good time when we get together!

My Framily

If I call someone my friend, more times than not they’re considered family to me (or what I call “framily”). I’m a hard person to deal with at times. The Pisces in me displays an emotional, moody, closed off person. Couple that with an introvert, & you have someone who is a-ok with being alone (hell, I like alone time) but will show you a good time once I let you in. 

     Most of my friends have been with me for 10-30 years. I have different friend groups: my “been with me forever chicks,” my “unexpected bond” chicks, & my “bonded at work” crew. I get with each of them on a different level. We relate to one another in different ways. And every one of them inspires me in some way. 

     The forever ones have been around since high school. Really, it’s just one plus her sister, but the things we’ve been through run deep. I can count on them for anything. They’re the kids’ godmothers & are 2 of the few I trust with my kids or to be in my house without me being there. We talk or text almost daily.

     The unexpected bond crew joined forces 7 years ago on a marriage retreat. We had one thing in common: the best wedding planner on the planet. I hate meeting new people, but those ladies & our husbands have a good time every time we link up. We’ve all been married for different lengths of time, have different ages of kids, & have different professions, but I’ve learned so much from them. 

     My bonded at work chicks are all from different jobs I’ve had over the years. We were in the struggle together & served as a source of support. I lost one to cancer 2 years ago, & she was like my 2nd mama. I could talk to her about anything, & I miss being able to pick up the phone & hear “what’s up girl” followed by that crazy laugh. 

     Another bond at work became one of my closest friends & is my daughter’s godmother. We struggled together, cried together, laughed together, & everything in between. We don’t get to see each other nowhere near enough anymore because our schedules are opposite, but that’s my dawg! We can pick back up like we just saw each other regardless of how long it’s been.

     My latest work bonds came at my current job. A few of us have been together for 7 years, & we went through so many things together: births, marriages, deaths, divorces, & plenty of coworkers. They help me get through the day when I’m not feeling it & make work enjoyable for the most part. Ain’t nothing like a great work crew!

Is Blood Really Thicker Than Water?

Ehh…nah! Although blood should be thicker than water, it’s not always the case. There are a handful of people that I have neverending loyalty to, & some have my loyalty but have the ability to destroy it if taken for granted. Regardless of which side of the fence you’re on, family is what you make it. 

     For me, family is love. Family is loyalty. Family is respect. Family is reciprocating. Family is memories. Family is FAMILY, & I love all of mine! Love on the ones you love while they’re still here. I’m sure going to this weekend.

Happy holidays, my people!