Whew Chile…Pray for My Pockets!
Looking back on 2023, I see we’ve spent a lot of money. And I do mean A LOT OF MONEY! While many things were necessities, like food & utilities, there were plenty that had us looking like it was raining cash. If the last 31 days of 2023 go like this past 30 days have gone, pray for my pockets!
Rollercoaster Pockets: From Bad to Good & Back
Being able to cover the necessities is something I’ll call “good pockets,” so “bad pockets” means you’re struggling to make ends meet. I’ve definitely been blessed over the years to be able to evolve from struggling to make ends meet to not having to rob Peter to pay Paul. Maturing & prioritizing the important things in life have allowed me to get to a better position than I was 20 years ago.
The first couple of years of being a single mother were a struggle many times. I lived with my parents off & on, so that allowed me to save a little & I’d have help with my son. However, branching out in my own with a daycare bill was no joke! I was honestly choosing between paying my rent so we could have somewhere to live or paying daycare so I could work so we could have a place to live. It was stressful!
Once I felt like I was drowning in bills, a blessing happened for me that was a disaster for thousands of others: Hurricane Katrina. That storm catapulted me into a new job doing catastrophe claims contracted with Allstate. Within 48 hours, I had to get to Florida & leave my 3 year old with my parents. The decision was difficult, but it was the blessing I needed for many reasons.
Obviously, the amount of money I was making during that time was a major blessing. Between our per diem & the daily rate, I was bringing in almost $10k a month. Don’t get me wrong, working 12 hour days Monday-Friday & 8 hour days on weekends was draining, especially since I was used to being on the go working in the behavioral health field & not having to sit at a desk all day. I got my bills caught up, bought a car, & did ridiculous things with my money. I’d been to the malls so much that there was nothing else there I wanted to buy. The definition of blowing money fast!
The most valuable lessons I learned though were life lessons. One was what was really important. When you look at pictures of people’s homes literally blown or washed away & then have to ask them to remember everything in their houses & put a price on them, it gives you a different perspective of “things.” “Things” meaning stuff, possessions, material things. Your family Bible that’s been passed down to you, Olympic medals you won, printed wedding photos, & human lives were not things you could put a price tag on. It definitely showed me that my circle of folks is what really matters.
The other life lesson was money management. If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things way differently. I would have bought my car in cash instead of financing it for 6 years. I would have paid my student loans off. My savings account would have been snowballing. All of the partying & buying ridiculous things just because I could would have been minimized drastically. But that’s not something a 26 year old would really be thinking about often. I was trying to enjoy the fruits of my labor…& boy did I!
I also would have done the whole college thing differently. Don’t get me wrong, going to UNC speaks for itself (go Heels!). The degree equals being intelligent because it was hella competitive to get into that school. Once I say I graduated from Carolina, there’s a different level of respect given. However, I should have applied to several colleges & snatched up a full ride somewhere to avoid all these student loans. I don’t even use my degree in Sociology, so I can say I got scammed a bit.
In addition, when I went to grad school, I would have just borrowed what I needed for school. I began the year after I got home from Florida…because I was bored & there wasn’t another storm that hit like Katrina to provide consistent work. I lived off those quarterly refund checks while working 2 jobs & providing for my son pretty much solo. Needless to say, I ended up in the hole again, & it was years before I could see the light again. Now, I have my Masters degree, but I also have 6 figures in student loans to accompany it. Oh joy 😩!
Comfortable Pockets: Getting Off the Rollercoaster & Back on Stable Ground
For a long time, I didn’t want to get married. I just wanted another kid & was willing to snag another baby daddy & keep my house to myself & my kids. Then in March of 2010, someone changed the game on me. I stumbled across a man, & I do mean A REAL MAN! He taught me the power of a partnership. I showed him how to rebuild credit. We held each other down & pushed through all kinds of obstacles.
It started of shaky when he first moved to NC, but we got it together once we figured out what works best for us & our household. There were some hard hits we took financially, but we focused on working together to conquer those stumbling blocks. Now we understand our priorities, because they’re a mutual decision, & we believe in teamwork to make the dream work. No more flying solo on either of our parts.
As we’ve grown & had more kids (Lawd, there are 4 of them between the 2 of us), we’ve learned more money management lessons. Tracking our money has worked wonders to keep our pockets “good.” We’ve invested in multiple life insurance policies so we know each other & our kids will be straight in the event of an untimely death. I constantly listen to podcasts, read books, & attend events to learn more about keeping & increasing our money. We’ve just come to understand the purpose of money & how many more things are far more important than those dollar bills.
We work hard! There were times when we were working multiple jobs, going to school while working, & working ridiculous hours each week to cover our expenses. Now we’re comfortable with just 2 incomes but are looking for ways to make money while we sleep instead of killing ourselves every day chasing it. We were either too exhausted or too stressed to enjoy the fruits of our labor, & that’s not how it’s supposed to be.
Working hard has allowed us to cover our bills (sometimes I have no idea how we’re covering all that we’re responsible for) & are able to stack money for extras. In the last 30 days, we’ve almost completely redid our first floor of the house. New flooring, toilet, & vanity in the powder room. New dining room set & repainting that room. Painting & changing lighting & ceiling fans in the kitchen. And on top of all that, accessories for each of those rooms plus the living room & hallway & Christmas shopping have been completed. Now y’all see why I said pray for my pockets?
Even though holiday shopping is done for my whole family & my secret Santa folks, December is going to be a major spending month too. I have 2 holiday events to attend, I’m getting back on track by restarting our annual holiday party, 2 birthday parties to attend, we have an anniversary trip at the end of the month, & my bday trip balance is due the first couple of days of January. Our pockets are for sure going to be turned inside out! I’m sure we’ll get it done though.
Bigger, More Stable Pockets
I think I do some type of “new year, new me” resolution every year. Most of those “new me” goals fizzled out within a few weeks. I take on too much at one time & lose motivation if I don’t have a serious end result in mind or almost immediate gratification. With all I’ve learned this year about goal planning & staying motivated, I feel more prepared to take on my goals for 2024.
Three major goals are a must: expanding Intentional, getting my health together, & growing our finances. I know I need to thoroughly think through these goals, develop an action plan, & set daily or weekly goals to work towards reaching those goals. I’m going to have to recruit some help, whether it’s a person or some other resource. There’s always someone who knows something or someone that can help you elevate your life. I’m looking for those people & things in 2024.
I’ve already started gathering some tools I’ll need to increase the likelihood of being successful next year. I bought a book yesterday that is supposed to help you get different aspects of your life on track by focusing on something each month. I’m excited to start reading it in January & plan to read each month’s chapter on the 1st of each month. I also bought some white boards to track my goals, plan my action steps, & keep me motivated. I heard that on an episode of Brown Girl Self-Care today, & it sounded like something that can help me achieve more next year.
I started a new note in my Notes app Tuesday night listing some things I need to gather or do & tasks I want to work on daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, & annually in 2024. I want to switch things up a little. Although I’m a creature of routine, I think it’s time that I shake things up & stretch myself some more. After all, there’s no growth without pain. It’s time to step outside of my comfort zone more often.
I’m motivated & excited to start a new year. 2023 has been pretty good to me. I’ve done some traveling, spent a lot more time with family, met some dope people, & read way more than I usually have time to (I’m on book #47 & should be finished today with it). I’m excited to meet new people who can teach me more about business, finances, & wellness. The more I learn, the more I can teach my loved ones. Knowledge is major wealth!
