What’s Your Why? Aligning Your Finances With Your Core Values Works Best for Your Whole Being!

Talking about finances can be a touchy subject. People put too much value on it, fall out over it, even kill others for it. They say that money is the root of all evil, but is that true? It can be…if you rank the almighty dollar above your core values. Let’s see how you can make sure money stays in its place.

Are Finances in Your Core Values?

In order to know if finances are in your core values, you have to figure out the things you value, put them into categories, & select the most important ones. On Tuesday, I posted about how to find out what your core values are. I actually took some time to do this the following day because I was curious to see if my core values have shifted from the last couple of years. This is what I found:

Step 1: List words or values that describe your feelings & behaviors

The time it took for me to do this was pretty short. I thought about things I believe about myself & ways other people have described me. It was important for me to do some real reflecting on how I truly feel & what I believe in. I wanted to make the most of the experience instead of just half-assing.

I came up with a variety of words. Some described things I identify as, such as “mother, “wife,” “sister,” “daughter,” & “friend.” I unpacked things more by listing words that describe my personality. Those included “loyal,” “passionate,” “smart, “analytical,” “driven,” “dreamer,” “organized,” & “observant.” There were a few more that described how I interact with others: “private,” “cautious,” “loved,” & “fun loving.” I wrapped up the list with a few things I enjoy doing like “travel lover” & “foodie.” There were other words I also listed, but y’all get the point.

Step 2: List 6 people you admire or have valued connections with

At first, this one stumped me. I was trying to think too deeply into it, so I started brainstorming hard on who I’ve come across or know of that I admire. I was trying to think of people who were known for being role models. People like Michelle Obama came to mind, but when I sat back & thought about why, I decided to not write down any names of people who have celebrity status. I have no idea what I thought I admired about these celebs, so there was no reason to list them. 

I then realized that the people I admire most are those that are closest to me. I can say each of my immediate family members & a few friends have qualities I admire & things I look up to them for. I won’t name specific names, but those folks are driven, business-oriented, hardworking, love God, are genuinely good people, & are leaders. I can say that I have more than 6 people around me that I admire, & that’s a blessing! My circle is THOROUGH!

Step 3: Reflect on your best & worst experiences & what stuck with you

Man oh man…those bad experiences are baaaaaaad! I’m one of those people who has experienced a lot of moments that put me in a bad frame of mind, had me moving recklessly, & could’ve changed the trajectory of my life seriously. All those journals I have over the years are filled with many encounters, but I can say my closest people know how deep some of those wounds run. 

Those wounds created great life lessons for me though. Some taught me not to be so quick to trust people, especially when their actions don’t match their words. Others taught me to think before acting, especially when it’s an important & potentially life-changing decision. And I definitely learned that life is short. I’ve seen too many people die too young; some before they really had a chance to live. 

Being optimistic (something I’ve learned to do over the years) gave me the ability to see the positive outcomes of those situations. I have stories to tell that may help someone else through a similar situation. Losing people allowed more room for better people. You have to make the best of each year, month, day, minute, & second you’re breathing. Live life to the fullest. You can’t get those lost moments back. 

Beyond those, I learned a lot about people. 

• Friendships change. It’s ok to change & hang with a variety of people. Your childhood friends don’t have to be your only friends. People evolve & sometimes outgrow each other. 
• Romantic partners all bring something to your life. I had more than my fair share of relationships that were bad for me, but I also am blessed to have found a good husband that makes up for all of the years I wasn’t getting everything I needed & deserve out of a relationship. 
• Parenting is a mystery. There is no such thing as a perfect parent & there’s no manual, so just do your best to do right by your kids & raise them to be good people. 

Yeah, there were some extremely dark moments in my 45 years, but there are so many more bright ones. I know the value of family & spending quality time together. I know the value of good friends who are there for you just like you are for them. Seeing other cultures in their countries have opened my eyes to how beautiful the world is & how peaceful life outside of the States can be. Too many lessons I can pass on to others to name right now!

Step 4: Categorize your values into related groups

Many of my values related to each other, so this was rather easy. I came up with 4 that included family, life experiences, being intellectual, & my future. I think there a few words that could go into multiple groups or didn’t fit into any category. I didn’t stress it though.

Step 5: Identify a central theme

Most of my values center around enjoying things with the people who are most important to you. I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older & more mature, I concentrate more on those who really matter in my life. I bought a hoodie the other week that says “I like murder shows, comfy clothes, & only about 3 people.” I say “I don’t like people” all the time. I guess I mean I prefer not to be around many (I hate crowds), & people can be some vile creatures. Why waste time & energy on things & people who don’t impact your life?

Step 6: Narrow your values down to 5-10

Another easy one! Family was the first one to come to mind. Looking at the titles I have proves that I value the people who call me “wife,” “mama,” “1st born,” “little big sister,” & “homie/bestie/sis” the most. I could care less what anyone thinks of me outside of those folks. As long as they’re good, I’m good too. 

In fact, I’m 5 hours late writing this post because I had to handle things in my home with my husband: remixing our sanctuary aka painting/cleaning/mounting/buying things for the first floor of our house. We want to redo the whole first level before the end of the year, so all week he’s been hard at work with his tool box & IDK how many trips to Lowe’s. Painting while we vibed out to music was a little more important for the moment. And my time management was off today since I had a lot of running around to do. Oh well! Life is lifing!

Having a fulfilling life was another value. I want to enjoy & experience as much of life & the world as my finances & time allow. There’s so much out there to see & do, but you have to leave your bubble & be open-minded enough to experience them. I try to vacation each quarter, even if it’s a short drive away. Hell, I have 2 trips already booked for the end of this quarter & the end of the first quarter of 2024. I want to see, hear, taste, smell, & touch things that will be engrained in my memory forever. 

Being happy was an additional core value. Life is too short to be miserable, to worry about everything, to be stressed, & to waste on people who don’t have your best interest at heart. You also don’t need to waste time doing things that don’t bring you joy. Life will pass you by doing that.

I want to be happy with my career as well. It’s important to me that I’m passionate about what I’m doing, hence the reason I continue to work in the behavioral health field. You have to love it to stay in it. It can drain the life out of you quickly, but seeing people evolve is satisfying for me. I’m also content with how Intentional is going. I’m less than 2 years in, & although it’s not  steady income, I still enjoy hearing that people love my products. They’re who I do this for anyway. All of that wraps into my core value of having a stable & fulfilling future.

Not only do I want to be happy in my relationships & career; I want to also be emotionally, spiritually, & mentally happy. Evolving from having a negative self-image & being suicidal to being mentally stable & loving myself unconditionally has been a feat. However, it has been worth every single moment. Practicing self-care is now non-negotiable for me. I have to take care of myself while I’m taking care of others. 

My last core value was being intellectually stimulated. I cannot sit around & do nothing. I feel like I’ve wasted time. But if something is stimulating my mind, I tend to be in a better mood. I read constantly. I enjoy solving puzzles & issues at work. I love learning new things. Being open to meeting new people that I can learn new things from takes me out of my comfort zone, but it’s for the best. Never know who you might come across!

How Finances Play into My Core Values

As you can see, I didn’t mention money one time as one of my core values. It used to be important to me. I wanted to have nice things. I wanted to be less stressed. I wanted to keep up with the Joneses. What I found though was prioritizing those dollar bills only made me more stressed trying to chase it. I had nice things, but I wasn’t able to experience them often because I was looking for more all of the time. I let my relationships with the people I love slip because I felt like financially having their backs was more important than physically having their backs. WRONG!!!

     Even though finances isn’t in my core values, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t relate to them. Finances impact how much I get to experience outside of being home with my family. Money affects the amount of time I have on my hands to invest more in myself, my loved ones, & my business. The amount of time I spend on the Kindle & Audible apps is decreased when there’s less in the bank, & chile I’d be bored out of my mind & getting on everybody’s nerves if I couldn’t read. Although I’m passionate about my business & my career field, what I’m being paid matters because I can’t invest in my business if I’m not making enough to cover my bills first. And I definitely can’t travel & experience new foods around the world without the funds to pay for them. Finances play a part, but it’s not a priority.

     If you didn’t do the core values exercise earlier this week, take some time to do it. The post is available on IG (www.instagram.com/intentionallyevolve) or Facebook (www.facebook.com/intentionallyevolve). It was posted Tuesday (11/7/2023), & you may gain some knowledge about yourself. Reflecting on your values is something you should do often (myself included). It’ll help you stay on track with prioritizing what really matters…like practicing some self-care by getting some rest. Back to my core values I go! ✌🏽