Relationships

Sprinkle Some Friendship On Top

Who doesn’t have a busy schedule? I don’t know a soul whose schedule is wide open & ready for any & everyone to add something to their agenda. Every person in my circle is busy: busy working, busy running businesses, busy with significant others, busy with kids, busy adulting, JUST BUSY! And because of that busyness, we may feel that there is little time for socializing. However, the saying goes: “you make time for things you think are important.” Add friendship in there somewhere!

     Now I’m one of the wrong ones to preach on this subject. By the end of my 4-day 40 hour work week, I’ve toted kids to cheer practice & swim lessons, handled things for Intentional, cooked pretty much daily, & helped anyone else in between. Ya girl is TIRED! But, this business has helped me see the importance of scheduling time with my friends. 

Personal Benefits

Personally, my friends are a much needed outlet. I can unload anything on these chicks & they’ve never slighted me for whatever I was going through. Most of them have jumped in the trenches with me to thug things out. And those who didn’t get dirty with me definitely have been there as listening ears & great advice providers. They’ve held me up when I couldn’t do it for myself.

     These women also have given me endless good times. Whether we’re acting up on a dance floor at someone’s event, kicking it on the back porch with drinks & snacks, experiencing new restaurants, or getting into madness on vacations, I have some great memories with them. I can always count on a good laugh when I’m with my girl tribe.

     Inspiration is the biggest thing I think I take from my friendships. Man, do I have some amazing women in my circle?! They’re from all different walks of life, in a variety of professions, anywhere from single with no kids to divorced with adult kids & grandbabies, & all full of life & wisdom. The way they navigate through life, balancing careers, businesses, & home life is amazing. Just watching them thrive boosts me to keep going.

The Importance of Planning

To keep your life in order & eliminate as much chaos as possible, you have to prioritize planning. I’m just as much of an advocate for planners as I am for journals. Without a written & electronic planner, I’d probably lose my mind. I like the benefit of writing something down. It helps me to remember things better. But with the hustle & bustle of the day, I need an alert as well to go off so I can pause from what is sometimes laser-focus & handle other priorities.

     In addition to my daily duties at home, work, & with Intentional, I put important dates concerning my friends on the books. Whether it’s a birthday or a meet-up to catch up, it goes in my iCalendar & planner. My Intentional Planner includes my monthly budget, a vision board, & annual & monthly goals. Each section helps me to keep my priorities in order & lessens the stress levels in the house. It’s the only way I can keep up with all of the important things my family has going on. They’re available at https://intentionallyevolve.com/product-category/planners/ on our website.

     Scheduling time with your tribe enhances your relationships. By getting together, you build a stronger bond. You can’t build connections without spending time together. It also helps you manage your mental health more effectively. That support system is like no other, whether you’re in need or not. And biologically, feeling supported by others helps your body release a calming hormone so it adapts to stress better, while your mirror neuron system helps with regulating your emotions. Win-win situation!

     When you’re scheduling, think quality over quantity. You don’t have to have a lot of friends or spend a ridiculous amount of time to keep friendships going. I have some that I’ve literally not laid eyes on in person in years, but I know if I need them, they’re one-way to me. Friendship is about creating safe spaces for each other, making sure you’re both seen & heard, & maintaining good mental & physical health. If it’s a  balanced relationship, the give & take will leave you full, as opposed to drained of everything in you.

Self-Care in Friendships

Speaking of which, friends are a great way to hold you accountable & get some self-care knocked out. I know I’m good for holding my people accountable for taking care of themselves. It’s a little harder for me, but any opportunity I have to step away with them I grab. A lot of my checking in is via phone, & that’s ok. That counts too! You just have to know who your people are.

     When planning self-care in your friendships, you can do it one of two ways: wing it or give it a purpose. If you wing it, just put something on the schedule. You can either plan an activity or just meet up & figure it out as you go. 

That way there’s really not any pressure to do something specific that may be emotionally draining.

     On the other hand, you can plan a date with intentions to recharge mentally & emotionally & get some healing in. To do this, check out these steps:

  • Pick your healing tribe & extend an invite. Let them know the purpose of the event.
  • Start a group chat. This will allow people to motivate & support each other, while also being accountability partners.
  • Come up with the purpose & build activities around that.
  • Check in on one another, even if it’s just by phone.
  • Share your journeys with each other, & listen without trying to solve the issues for them. 
  • Get a list of your favorite self-care activities together to exchange with the group. You may find something new you grow to enjoy.
  • Keep a variety of activities to choose from so you don’t get bored getting your self-care on.
  • Make sure you address each of the five critical areas of self-care: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, & social.

     Either way you choose, make sure you’re taking time out to refill your cup while helping others refill theirs. Summer is upon us, & there’s so much we can do out in the sun. After all, vitamin D is good for the body. Take some time to schedule some fun with your friends. I bet it’ll be worth your time!

Resources

https://fredandfar.com/blogs/ff-blog/10-self-care-ideas-for-you-and-your-best-friend

https://selfcareseeker.com/self-care-ideas-with-friends/

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