Permission to Pause: Why It’s Okay to Take a Break ⏯️

Life stays lifin’! Let me tell you; 2024 has whipped my 🍑! There hasn’t been 1 month without something negative affecting either me, my family, or someone in my circle. Between mess, working, trying to keep up with the business, & my family’s busy schedules, I’ve stayed on go mode. But as of yesterday, I have given myself permission to pause.

     Does that even make sense though? What exactly is permission to pause? And why do I feel the need to “give myself permission?” 🤔 Since it’s ingrained in me to be in grind mode, it’s hard for me to turn off without feeling guilty about something. That culture has to change though, & here’s why…

Why I’ve Felt Like I Needed Permission to Pause ⏯️

Like I said, I stay on the grind. Whether it’s working at my full-time job (which I just got a promotion on so it’s kind of like starting over), handling business for Intentional (entrepreneur life is a neverending story), or keeping track of my family’s affairs (That Lil Girl’s social calendar is a BEAST), I stay on the go. It’s like a battery is in my back. 🔋 There are many days I’m the first one up & last one to go to bed. It’s just second nature for me to have something to do.

Phase One: Childhood Influences on Permission to Pause 👧🏾

     That foundation came straight from my family dynamic. Both parents were in the Army, so the hustle was already in them. When they got out & retired, they didn’t take a break. They were off to the next adventure working new jobs, starting businesses, & going back to school. Hell, Dad is still on the grind at almost 70, & Mom can’t sit still to save her life. They burn the road up! 🗺️🚙

     Because of seeing that need to succeed & not stopping until you do just that, all 4 of their daughters can’t keep still. Even when people think we’re taking a break or aren’t as busy, we’re still doing something. My mind is still moving when I’m on the way to sleep, & I’ll wake up most days with something on the brain when my eyes open. 🧠 Doing nothing is just not something I’m good at.

Phase Two: Applying Knowledge But Not Acknowledging Your Permission to Pause 🧐

As parents, you always want our kids to do & be better than you are/were. It’s important that your legacy set the tone for your bloodline. 🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒 You have to teach your kids everything you’ve learned & push them to learn even more. No shade, but if you don’t prioritize that, I’m side-eying your parenting. 🤷🏽‍♀️ The point is to build, not to break down or stay the same. Progression should be evident.💯

     I watched my parents grind, so it’s important for my kids to see the same from myself & their dad. You are the example of what a man/woman is supposed to be. If you wouldn’t date or marry yourself, it’s time to change it up, hunty! I don’t want my daughter thinking women are lazy or aren’t capable of putting in work, & I don’t want my sons to think the partners they choose don’t have to bring something to the table. 🍽️ Those who don’t bring something don’t get to eat at my table. Sorry, not sorry! 🤷🏽‍♀️

     Thank God husbae matches my grind level. That was one of the non-negotiables for a marriage mate for me. 👎🏽 If one of us is working multiple jobs, we’re both working multiple jobs. Nobody is sitting home in chill mode while the other kills themselves providing. We both are out to get it & boost each other up to do so. #Blessed

     The downside to that is not knowing when to say “when.” I’ll give it to him, when husbae gets sleepy, he’s gonna go to bed. 🛌 He ain’t about staying up for every reason. When his body gets tired, he’ll take a chill pill. 💊 Me…not so much. Either my attitude or my health has to sit me down in order for me to pause, & it’s taken me about 44 years to really figure out why that’s some 🐂💩, but I’m on my way…

What I’ve Learned About Permission to Pause 💭

Waiting until my mind, body, or emotions shut down is not the move! By the time you get that far, it’s too late 9 times out of 10. There have been times that my body has literally shut down on me so I had no choice but to rest. My body wouldn’t even allow me to do the opposite. When it comes to my mind, everything goes blank & thinking clearly has left the building. And when fatigue gets with my emotions, just sit me in the corner with a muzzle cuz anything is liable to come out of my mouth. 👄 Recipe for disaster all around!

     Since starting Intentional, I’ve learned so much about self-care, what it really is, & why we need to prioritize it. Self-care is whatever you use that helps you relax, relate, release. 📋 It doesn’t have to be getting a massage, going on vacation, or getting a pedicure. It can be as little as buying a candy bar because chocolate makes you smile. You can go to church because it refills your spirit. How about scheduling tasks so you don’t overload yourself & have a balanced life? The list goes on & on.

     The guilt of taking a pause occurs less for me now that I’ve learned the importance of prioritizing self-care. I don’t wait for my mind or body to grant me permission to pause; I just take it. I’ll schedule breaks & vacations so I have something to work for. When I take time off, I look at it as rewarding myself for working hard. I try to put email, calls, & any other communication that isn’t vital on DND while I take a breather. I know how necessary self-care is.

     If things don’t get done or aren’t done by the deadline I set for myself, oh well! 🤷🏽‍♀️ There are very few things that absolutely HAVE to be done by a certain time that are serious. And when I say “serious,” I mean life-threatening. Yes, achieving your goals is important, but don’t kill yourself at the expense of achievement. You’ve got to make it past your goals in order to celebrate the accomplishments. 

     Today, I’m in the midst of getting my self-care on. I’m trying to stick to my “schedule” of taking time off & away every 3-4 months so I can unpack all of the stress of those 12-16 weeks. Release is necessary to avoid explosions. 💣💥 There’s nothing cute about being a Sour Puss, & nobody wants to take Negative Nancy with them. Life isn’t long enough to be overcome with negative emotions & thoughts. Find your outlet, & sign off on that permission to pause. You deserve it!

Check y’all next week after I reemerge from under my rock relaxed & refreshed…✌🏽