Set the Mood for a Great Date With Sleep

Who would’ve known that 3 words would mean so much to me as I got older: set the mood. And I’m not talking about setting the mood for a night of romance; I’m talking about setting the mood for a good night’s sleep. A good night’s sleep is something that’s foreign to me every so often, but when I make an effort, things come out well. It all starts with your method, so let’s get into mine.

How to Set the Mood

I used to think that going to bed was just something that had no routine. Even though I’m a creature of habit, getting ready for bed was the most random “routine” I had going. And when I say random, I mean it went however & wherever the wind blew me. I’d be on the go until I got damn near exhausted, & then I’d rush through showering, journaling, & hitting the sack. It just happened whenever.

     I’ve started to understand that ending your day should be just as routine as beginning your day. Because of that, I made a New Year’s resolution to get my life a bit more organized so I can feel more rested, more organized, & less stressed. I started listening to the Brown Girl Self-Care podcast on Apple Music a little over a year ago. The podcaster Bre gives it to you straight, but it’s in such a motivating way.

Since I started listening to that podcast, I’ve gained so much insight into how I can switch up my self-care routine & have gotten some insight into some of the struggles that many Black women face. From mental health to career decisions, Bre touches plenty of topics that resonate with your soul! I highly recommend taking a listen on whatever podcast platform you use. She won’t disappoint!

     That podcast was the inspiration for my new morning & nighttime routines, especially adding the white boards for added organization & motivation. I do way more in the morning than I do at night, but the tasks give me a chance to really wind down (except on Monday nights when That Lil Girl has cheerleading practice ). I had no clue how much of a difference a few minor changes could make until I made them!

Setting the Mood: The Method

Spiritual Self-Care

     Between 7-8pm, I jumpstart my nighttime wind down routine by reading at least one chapter of the Bible.   I’ve always wanted to read the Bible cover to cover, so I’ve been consistently reading every night in 2024. After I finish with reading (which is usually 2-5 chapters), I give myself some time to talk to God. When I feel the need, I also write down specific prayers & add them to my prayer wall (we’ll save what that is for another time). Doing these 2 things allow me to get into a more positive frame of mind as I transition from hustle hard to chill mode. Great way to start off my evening routine.

Physical Self-Care

     After my time with God, I’ll usually jump in the shower. Depending on how I’m feeling, I might turn off the lights, light some candles, & get clean by candlelight. It’s just enough light to see what I’m doing but not too much that it stops my mind from beginning to chill. At times, I’ll also add a shower bomb to the steam. Aromatherapy definitely helps with the mood. By the time I finish that, I’m halfway through to getting into bed & starting to feel more relaxed.

Intellectual, Social, Financial, & Professional Self-Care

     Next up is letting go of today & preparing for tomorrow. This is where the 2 white boards come in: one to track what I did for self-care for the day & one to develop my game plan for tomorrow. The white board calendar is a way to hold myself accountable for doing some form of self-care every day, no matter how minor it may seem. Something is always better than nothing.

     The other white board is for me to write my affirmation for the next day & my primary & backup plans. I read the affirmation before I get out of bed each morning, & it allows me to have a positive mindset to begin the day. Plan A consists of 2-3 tasks I absolutely have to get done that next day. I put in the effort to prioritize those things so I can progress towards my goals & not feel too overwhelmed. Plan B is a few things that I’ll get done if I have a chance & the energy to do so. However, if they’re not done, it won’t have an impact on anything else I have going on. With my seemingly unending to-do list, I have to make myself create some balance.

     Next, my Intentional products enter the picture. I whip out my Intentional Planner so I can block off time for the important tasks the next day. I also check off what I accomplished that day. It serves as a method to track my progress. It also allows me to see how much time I may have to do things that aren’t on my priority list like reading, doing some extra cleaning, or resting. Additionally, I can review & tweak my budget & goals.

Mental & Emotional Self-Care
     My Intentional Journal allows me to unload everything in my head from the day. There are days I write a whole page & others that I barely write 3 sentences. As long as I can free my mind some, I’m able to relax a bit more before getting into the bed. I also get to count my blessings & reflect on any lessons or good quotes I encountered during the day. Ending on a positive note somewhat takes my brain off of anything stressful that’s going on. 

     The final two pieces of the nighttime routine are calming: meditation & yoga. My Calm app has a variety of meditation options, from sleep to mindful eating to relaxing sounds. I usually just listen to the Daily Calm, which is a 10-12 minute meditation with a message at the end. I keep a background sound of rushing water going so I can have a focus point. Then husbae & I head over to YouTube to find an evening yoga session. It gives us a chance to relax, bond, & stretch before hopping into bed. Yoga is always a great way to relax, relate, release!

The Atmosphere

     The only other requirements I have to get a good night’s rest involve three senses: sight, sound, & touch. I can’t sleep when it’s light, no matter how tired I am. I even have a hard time sleeping after working overnight, & I usually only end up dozing off for 2 hours & going to bed earlier than usual that night.  And when I say it has to be dark, I mean nothing on: no curtains open, no door open, & no lights or TV on. Pitch black!

     I also need silence in the room. My attention will be pulled away to whatever is on, so all electronics need to be silenced too.   That’s the main reason I schedule DND every night. Falling asleep is hard enough without interruptions, & being interrupted will only make me have to start the wind down process all over again. I still have no idea how I slept in college when my BFF had to have a fan on to sleep or now with husbae’s snoring. Guess my tune-out game is impeccable!

     The final requirement is the temperature. It can’t be too cold or too hot in the room. Either extreme will alter the way I sleep. Being too hot makes me toss & turn, & I have trouble breathing. Freezing makes me bury myself in the covers but also makes it hard for me to get comfortable. Give me a good 68-70 degrees, & I’ll sleep like a baby.

The Benefits of Setting the Mood

Now that I have a method to the madness, I feel more rested even when I get less sleep. I think the consistency has made my body & mind know when it’s time to get ready to lay it down. I can say I feel more productive during the day with my consistent schedule. Once my reminder goes off that it’s time to settle down, I put myself on a time limit to get the routine going. 

     Physically, I feel like I have more energy. I used to drag most of the day prior to developing a routine. My energy was super low, & I always felt tired. I sure didn’t have enough energy to think about exercising, much less doing it. Now, I get at least 3 workouts in per week after work. 

     Mentally, my symptoms of depression & anxiety are very minimal. I take my meds around the same time each morning, but I also make sure I prioritize this self-care routine so I can feel mentally sound. Sleep disturbances definitely contribute to mental health; look it up. I get way more done & am more focused too. I can sit for hours focused on a task & not burn out. All good!

     I think this has been one of the longest routines I’ve ever kept. I’m quick to get bored, so I’ll quit something in a heartbeat. I think the only other thing that’s lasted long-term is journaling. It’s just become a part of who I am, so hopefully this one will stick too. So far so good! 

     Now I have no idea how much I’ll abide by my morning & nighttime routines the next week since I’m on vacation. However, I plan on making an effort to do most of them since they work so well for me. I won’t make any promises though. The beach, warm weather, adult drinks, good food, & fun with family are calling…& I’m answering on the first ring!