Put Love First: Prioritize Your Loved Ones in This Busy World

Do your loved ones know how much they mean to you? Most people will assume the answer is yes, but you honestly won’t know unless you ask. Yes, life gets busy & sometimes difficult, however people make time for things they care about ⏳. Let me grade myself on how well I show my people love…🤔

My “Regularly Scheduled” Loved Ones

I’m big on family. Anyone who’s close to me knows I’ll go to war behind my people 🧨. I mean lose all my 💩type of go to war. It might be borderline obsessive, but they’re mine, I love them, & everyone is going to know that 😍🥰.

Life has been lifin’ lately; I’ve had a front row seat to witness it 👀. This new year kicked off with a bang, & I feel like I went from recharging on vacation to hitting the ground running when I returned to work & That Lil Girl returned to school. I think I got used to not having more than one alarm go off each morning & not having to run all over NC for her busy schedule🗓️. Throwing in waking up 45 minutes earlier & working out a few days a week made it appear more complicated than it is. It appears like I have a battery in my back🏃🏾‍♀️💨! However, my new morning routine has ironically given me more energy (go figure).

Since I’ve put some new systems in place & added some things to my self-care routine, I’ve been hot & cold with keeping up with my people. The parents pretty much stayed in the almost-daily after work rotation until recently 👵🏾👴🏼. Unforeseen circumstances have shaken that standard up some, but we’re making do. I pretty much have a running sister chat going on daily between texts, FaceTimes, & IG messages with #DemMilesGuhls 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️. That relationship is rock solid regardless of how much we get to talk to or see each other 💪🏽. There’s an unspoken understanding that we all juggle multiple hats but ain’t a thing changed. Like Terry on BMF says, “from the womb to the tomb!”

My bestie groups are decent too. The high school bestie & I have some sort of contact with via text almost daily 💬. The big sis bestie & I speak almost every morning before work (one of the few people I’m ok with talking to me before the sun wakes up ⛅️). The work besties & I have convos all throughout the work day 👩🏽‍💻. The only one I can’t keep up with on a regular basis is my baby mama bestie, & that’s only because our work schedules are conflicting👩‍👧‍👦. We do interact in IG messages though. We always say we need to do better. However, no matter how often I speak with or see these folks, we don’t skip a beat when we’re face to face. Alexa, play Lil Baby “That’s My Dawg.”

None of these people need to be added to my schedule (unless it’s something that needs to happen in person). It’s a part of my usual routine to hear from them at some point at least weekly. Habits take 28 days to form, & since these folks have been around what seems like forever, it’s an easy habit to keep. And my other various friend & family groups keep a group chat going on the regular, so I think the introvert in me gets my fix from them enough too.

My “Girl You Need to Do Better” Loved Ones

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how true the saying “tomorrow isn’t promised” is. I’m blessed to not have lost many people that I’m really close to in the last couple of years 😇🙏🏽. If I could turn back time, I’d definitely have spent more time with them. I do miss them dearly though & think about them on a regular basis. The ones who come to mind played significant roles in me becoming the woman I am today, so missing them is a no brainer.

Several people I know have lost loved ones over the last month. Too many to count, honestly. I think I’ve felt like I was gut-punched when I’d see their statuses saying “RIP,” so I can only imagine what they’re going through emotionally on a daily basis. It makes you take a look at yourself & ask if you’re doing enough with, seeing enough of, & saying enough for them to really know how much I value & love them.

There are a few that I’d like to do better with communicating with though. Pretty much all of them are older folks, so I’m realizing I have to do better. Yes, the phone works both ways, but someone has to initiate things ☎️📞. In all actuality, I probably need to be the initiator since: #1 my schedule is so busy, & #2 I hate talking on the phone since I do it 40 hours a week at work.

Revamping My Priority List of Loved Ones

Being the initiator of contact will mean I need to come out of my comfort zone & explore uncommon territory. I’m an extroverted introvert at times, so you never know when I want human interaction. Ain’t that much talking in the world 🗣️🙅🏽‍♀️. However, if I want to make sure these people know I care about them, I’m going to have to make an effort. Growth is uncomfortable, so it’s time to ease on out of this comfort zone for both others’ fulfillment & my own.

This is where my Intentional Planner & whiteboards come in. Only I know how busy my schedule is each day 🗓️. And only I know what’s on my Plan A as well. I’m just going to have to go old school & pencil them in ✍🏽. There are 24 hours in a day, & since I’m only working 10 of those, I realistically have some time to spare to call those folks. I just need to bump them up a little higher on my list of priorities & make the time to follow through.

The organizational tyrant in me recognizes my need to schedule those calls & develop a routine. There’s a method to the madness though, so follow me:

Make a list of the loved ones I want to increase contact with 📋
Put them in order of priority so you know who needs to hear from you more often than others ☝️
Review your schedule (hello Intentional Planner & iPhone) 🗓️📱
Pencil your people in as often as necessary ✍🏽

I’m going to aim to do this starting in February. I know I can’t be everything for everybody, but I can at least let people know they’re cared about 🥰. Once I get my list done, I’m sure I’ll be setting alerts to remind me until it becomes second nature to me. This world is ugly enough, so why not contribute to bringing some light back into it 🌟🔆?