Is Writing Worth It? Journal Your Way Out of Stress

It’s no secret that I’m a big journal advocate✍️. I take it with me whenever I go out of town & make sure I take time to write something daily. It’s become something essential to my routine so I can function appropriately (& not end up either locked up in a prison or a psych hospital). If you need something persuading about the benefits of journaling, come on in. I’ll give it to you straight up, no chaser!

Who Needs a Journal? Not Me!

Parenting

I started my journal journey over 14 years ago. I was a single parent of a kindergartener, which is stressful in itself. I was solely responsible for making sure he made it to & from school & did all of his assignments. That wasn’t the stressful part though. Dealing with his behavior was my number one issue. 

     My son (aka The Boy 👦🏽) was suspended that first year of school more times than I could count. In reflecting back, none of them were legit reasons, & he probably wouldn’t have been as much of the “problem” they labeled him as. Working in the behavioral health field, I knew what it was: ADHD, & not a soul in that school knew how to redirect the energy or behaviors. 

     I spent so much time at that elementary school the first year 🚌. I’ll admit, he had a smart mouth. Hell, he gets it honest, so he earned the 2 times I took a trip to the school & had a lil “therapeutic conference” with him in the principal’s office & in my car. Those spankings got him right for the remainder of the day, & he knew his mama had no issue coming to school at any point of the day. 

     By the end of the school year, I had to tell the teacher & counselor my kid needed a formal diagnosis & plan. They looked at me like I was crazy & had skepticism written all over their faces. In fact, I think the counselor looked at me as a poor, uneducated, single Black mother & assumed I didn’t know what I was talking about. I’ll never forget the way she was explaining what ADHD was, how it would be diagnosed, & what the possibilities of treatment were. I’ll also never forget how red she turned when I told her I not only knew all of the info she was “giving me,” but I also wrote the treatment plans SHE implements at the school. Who won that battle 😏???

     So…once I won 🎉, things got better for him at school. He was always super smart; the kid could write his name backwards & upside down at 2 years old. He just needed a little knowledge & mama advocating to get him what he needed. Many were against me putting him on medication, but they also didn’t have to handle any of the heavy lifting. The improved school behavior lifted some of the stress, but there was way more to come!

Employment

Working in the behavioral health field takes a lot: a lot of patience, a lot of humor, a lot of knowledge, a lot of stamina, just A LOT! And trying to make ends meet, I was working 2 full-time behavioral health jobs & going to grad school online full-time. Honey, I was tiiiiiiiiiiired, physically & mentally😩. I was on the go from sun up 🌅to sun down🌄, leaving from working in the field only to come home to cook👩🏽‍🍳, make sure homework was done📄, do my work documentation for the day, & hit the books 📚. And don’t let it have been a day that I had to restrain somebody because that’ll take every bit of energy in your body out. 

     Regardless of how much I was working, it was still a struggle to make ends meet at times. It was so defeating, which just stressed me out even more. It seemed like as soon as I took care of one thing or got ahead, something else would come along & wipe it all out. I couldn’t win for losing.

Social & Love Life

Chiiiiiiiile, I was a hot mess back then! Let me tell you: I was doing the most (mostly because I didn’t go through the wild streak many go through in their teens & in college). My friends & I were so bad of regulars at the club that the bartenders knew what we were drinking🍺🍻🍷🍹🥂🍾🥃. I was drinking & popping pills, not realizing at the time it was the worst type of coping skill for my mental health. 

     It had gotten so bad that I couldn’t go out & have fun if I was sober. There were days I’d go to work after having just enough time to shower & change from being at the club the previous night. We even went to church one Easter Sunday for sunrise service, still coming down off of our high. I was wildin’, you hear me? 

     But that wasn’t all! I was also running with nothing but dope boys. There were very few guys I’d deal with who didn’t have the “side hustle” going. I felt like my mommy life was so boring that I needed that dysfunctional rush of associating with someone who wasn’t on the straight & narrow & who there was always at least 1 other woman in the picture. Sis had lost her mind!

Journal Away Your Stress 

Even though I thought I was releasing the stress with all these people & things around me, I finally hit rock bottom🪨. The blinders were off; I was seeing people, places, & things for what they were. I was consumed with feeling like I was drowning financially & romantically. I was at my wits end with being the primary parent pretty much all year. And I was emotionally done…😞😢

     On December 26, 2009, I was done; I mean DONE DONE. I’d just left from seeing Avatar solo & feeling like a failure because everyone around me had “somebody” or “something” going on. It didn’t matter that those “somebodies” & “somethings” may have been some of the most dysfunctional, disrespectful, having nothing going on people & things. It was somebody or something more than I had, & I was out here single as a dollar bill, emotionally spent from the pattern of boo thangs I had picked & all of the rest of life being on 100.

     I was almost home, & right before I was going to cross IKEA Blvd, I made up my mind: it was a wrap. I hit the gas & was going to drive off that overpass & land in the middle of 85N…until The Boy saved my life👼🏽. I saw his face clear as day & a fast forwarded version of his life without his mother. So instead of continuing to the side of the road, I hit 85S & drove my lil tail to the hospital🏥. That was when I realized I had depression & needed help.

     I spilled my guts to that psychiatrist 👩‍⚕️, & she prescribed me medication💊. Now I hate to take medicine of any kind. I can’t even swallow the smallest pill on the planet. And like a lot of people of color, I wasn’t willing to be labeled as “crazy” because I took medication & had a mental health diagnosis. I gave it 30 days, but I didn’t feel like it made a difference in my feelings. I was just emotionless. That’s when I wrote myself a treatment plan.

     After all those years working in the behavioral health field, I’d taught tons of people how to cope with their behavioral health diagnoses & where to get help. Until I had a formal label on my own situation, I didn’t think to start trying any of those things. And so, I figured I’d give journaling a shot📝. 

     I already could write well. Writing a discussion response or a paper was nothing to me. And since the words came so easily for me academically, why not see how easily it was to empty my mind on paper? Journal #1 was a success📓! I filled those pages up every night before bed. Every thought, whether it was good, bad, or ugly filled those pages. And boy did it help!

My Journal Journey

Ever since I bought that first journal, I’ve been hooked. When I got close to the end of one, I’d get excited to go buy another one. Each time, I’d search for the one I had previously, & of course, they’d no longer be sold anywhere. Enter the next best thing I could find in Walmart or Target that day & a slight tweak to my routine due to a new format. I’d learn to like that journal’s style, & yep, you guessed it: they’d be discontinued when I needed a new one. 

     I went through all kinds of journals📚. Large ones the size of notebooks gave me enough room to write as much as I needed to every day, but they’d be too big to fit in my purse if need be. Small ones didn’t give me enough room to write but were easy to tote around. Blank ones didn’t have lines, & the perfectionist in me hated when it ended up slated. Dated ones didn’t give me enough flexibility if I missed a day because of exhaustion or having too much fun. There was always an aspect of the current one that I liked, but I’d find something else in another & want that added too. 

     In my boredom during quarantine, I went back to grad school to finish off my degree. When I hit that dark place, I took a leave of absence. Life came at me fast, & I kept postponing my return to finish. I snagged that Masters in Psychology in May of 2021 though while working full-time & helping That Lil Girl (my youngest & only daughter 👧🏾 stay focused in virtual school👩🏽‍🎓💪🏽! When it was all over, I wanted to start a business but was clueless about what kind. That’s when my other half 🤵🏾‍♂️ suggested journals & planners since I always have them.

     I guess I owe him a cut since that’s exactly what I did (hell, that man can have ANYTHING he wants because he’s unbelievable!). I gathered up all of my old journals & made a list of everything I loved about them. I did the research to start the business. I searched for printing companies. I spent countless hours glued to a computer screen after already spending 40+ hours in front of one at work. And the fruits of my labor paid off when I birthed the Intentional Journal 🌟. 

     Each one of the aspects of the contents of Intentional Journals helped me in some capacity; getting back to not only being ME but finding a new ME as well. 

1. Positive affirmations 🥰😍: It’s so easy to get caught up in a web of negativity, especially now. Thank God there was only MySpace when I was down & out because Instagram & Facebook would’ve had my head so screwed up with all of the surface happiness. I started realizing how reading something positive can lift your spirits, so I find them at the beginning of each new year to remind me throughout the year that there was more to smile about than to cry about. And so, I let those lead on each page of the journal.

1. No date 📆 : Writing every day takes discipline, & I realize everyone isn’t on the same level. Some people want to write only when they need to decompress, while others will write whatever whenever. Needless to say, I left it blank, so you’re free to put whatever date on each of the 366 pages of the journal.
2. Writing prompts 📝: Some days I just can’t think straight. There’s either so much going on that my head is spinning or nothing going on so I have nothing to express. Writing prompts helped me to stretch my imagination & think deeper than what was currently in front of me. It gives you a different spin on things & a chance to work your brain. It also allows you to get your mind off of the present. Those are only added every 3 days to shake up the monotony of doing the same things every day.
3. Space to write🗒️: That was the whole purpose of journaling. I put enough room to write as much or as little as you want. When I don’t have much to say, I’ll write little quotes or something interesting I read during the day in the blank area. I actually added more space in the newest, revised version due to customer suggestions (yes I welcome critique & take customer service seriously!).
4. Lessons of the day 🤔: I got into the routine of writing down something I learned throughout the day. It’s good to learn something new every day. We all have something else to learn, regardless of how big or small it may be. That area is to write just that, but I also add some of the quotes I find in that space sometimes. They’re great to go back & reflect on.
5. Next day goals 🙌🏽: I’m an organizational freak. I CANNOT deal with chaos. It heightens my anxiety (which I was formally diagnosed with last year). Planning a few tasks for the next day allows me to set small goals so I can reflect the next night on things I accomplished. Priorities go in this space so you can jot anything important down for the next day. It’s a great way to track your goals & praise yourself for the victories, no matter how small they are.
6. Gratitude 🙏🏽☺️: No matter what I spilled onto those pages daily, I always made myself end on a positive note: by writing one thing I was grateful for that day. I’d challenge myself to try not to repeat something I’d stated in the months before. There were days I’ve been so mad that I had to think long & hard, but I don’t allow myself to skip that part. Start out positive, & end positive 💪🏽.

     Journaling changed my life! I don’t think I would have ever tried it had I not seen how it could be an effective coping skill. It’s now a healthy habit I have every night. I’ve been out of the country & journaled. I’ve pulled overnight shifts & journaled. I’ve been pissy drunk & could barely see straight, but journaled (man is that handwriting a mess!). It’s a part of me now, & life is supposed to be about sharing with others. Hence, the Intentional Journal is my gift to y’all. Each one teach one 🤗!

     And because of the reviews I’ve received (& I’m soooooo thankful for the feedback🥰), I’m starting to work on 2 more journals: one for youth 👧🏾🧒 & one that’s spiritually-based 😇). My bonus son & That Lil Girl said they liked journals, so why not pass on something positive to the youth? These babies are dealing with way more than we had to, & they need an outlet. You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve seen working in this field in 2 decades. Some would blow your mind & make it hard to sleep after reading or seeing it.

     I’ve been working on my spiritual relationship too. A colleague asked if I had a faith-based version of the journal. So…why not take a chance on that as well? You can never have too much faith! God is a powerful being! I’ve seen it for myself way too many times!

     Look out for the pre-orders of those journals in the next couple of months. Pick up one of our current journals right now (https://intentionallyevolve.com/product-category/journals/). And subscribe to the email list so you don’t miss out on advance notice of future challenges (either by submitting your info here: https://intentionallyevolve.com  or shooting us a message, events (I have some ideas brewing), & discounts on products. They won’t disappoint! And as always, thank you for rocking with ya girl 🥰😘! Be blessed this week!