Can You Switch Sides? Come Join the Winning Team: Team Positive

Angel versus devil, good cop/bad cop, or whatever you call it, we all have both in us. It’s so easy for one little thing to push you over the line to negativity, but it doesn’t have to be that way the majority of the time. I used to live on the dark side way too much…until some serious self-reflection caused me to switch sides to Team Positive. Check this comparison out…

Ms. Mocha

I was probably the most skeptical person on the planet a few years ago. It was rare that I would look at the positive side of things before settling on the negative side. I didn’t trust anyone, expected the worst out of everyone & everything as a protective device, & was far from optimistic. That person I call Mocha, & she’s A BEAST!

     Ooh chile! Ms. Mocha used to stay outside getting into mess! I waited for guys who I talked to to mess up. I didn’t think one (after the first couple of relationships I had) was able to be honest or faithful. So I either sat in the cut & expected the worst, or already had a starting lineup in play so I wouldn’t care. I expected people to cross me or let me down just so I wouldn’t get my hopes up. And I was always ready to get my lick back when someone wronged me. I was the queen of “when they go low, I go to Hell.” Can you say clap back season before the saying even began???

     That was no way to live though. Who wants to always have a negative view of people & things? It was no fun not allowing others to get too close, but the ironic thing was I didn’t like rolling solo. Between that, learning some life lessons, & developing a more mature mindset, I figured it was no harm in trying to switch sides to the more positive way of life.

The New Meia

The older I got, the easier it became to look for the brighter side of things. I started thinking more about what was present instead of what wasn’t. More people were able to get the benefit of the doubt a little earlier. I could dust my shoulders off sooner. This change didn’t happen overnight though. It took a complete mindset change & a lot of effort.

     I’m not going to lie; thinking positively can be really difficult! I’m not completely evolved, but I’m not as bad as I used to be. People are a hot mess, & the world we live in is even worse. It’s so easy to side-eye everyone & everything with what we see & experience. The majority of things you see on the news & internet are negative, so that bug can bite you quickly. That’s part of the reason I rarely watch the news (I mostly watch for weather only) & will delete a person real quick on social media for doing the most.

     Fortunately, the people around me helped me get to this more positive way of life. Husbae might be one of the most easygoing people I’ve ever encountered. You never see him sweat (although I can tell now when his wheels are spinning). He’s quick to tell me not to stress over anything & that things will work out. Talk about needing that other hand to balance someone who’s TTG (trained to go)!

     My girl crew has consistently been a source of light. Regardless of which crew I’m with, I can always count on a good laugh, a hug when I need it, a listening ear, & a voice of reason. My sisters are the same way. They boost me up when I need it & get me in formation when I steer off course. That group chat stays lit!

     Viewing life through optimistic eyes makes it less stressful, for sure. Don’t get me wrong, ya girl still stresses, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be. It’d get so bad I couldn’t eat or sleep, & I’d be laser-focused on the issue. Now, I can dissect things more effectively, come up with a plan of action, & move on. Staying mad & stressed for days changes nothing, & our time is limited here. Why waste those precious minutes on negativity?

Check the Techniques

There’s a method to the madness to go from the dark side to brighter days. It’ll take some practice, but keep pushing through & think of what’s to come. Here are some tips to switch up your thinking:

• Identify areas to change. Everyone has something they can change about themselves. You just have to be real with yourself & willing to make changes. Make a list & start working on each thing until you’ve mastered them all.
• Check yourself. The man/woman in the mirror is the best person to check themselves. No one can be as real with you outside of you. Feel free to gather yourself any time you need to. I hit myself with a “girl, get it together” on a regular basis.
• Be open to humor. You have to laugh at yourself sometimes. There’s probably a funny aspect to everything, so look for something to ease the tension of being so serious. My sisters & I will tease each other after serious issues die down some. When you think back on stuff, all you can do is laugh sometimes.
• Follow a healthy lifestyle. When you have healthy habits, they reflect in your entire being. You’ll feel better from the inside out. Good nutrition & exercise pump positivity into your mind, so try your best not to overindulge in the junk food & binge watching. 
• Surround yourself with positive people. Positivity is contagious. You can’t help but have a positive attitude when you’re around uplifting people. Your team can be there to encourage & support you, so choose wisely.
• Practice positive self-talk. You become what you think about, so make sure you think good thoughts, especially about yourself. Affirmations work! I have 7 set to go off every morning at 7am. (Shameless plug: Intentional Journals & Planners have affirmations throughout them! Available at https://intentionallyevolve.com/product/)

It’s time for us all to be more positive. With all that’s going on around us, you have to look for the brighter things in life. Let’s boost each other up more than we tear each other down, but start by treating yourself the best!