I’m Back Outside: Bouncing Back After the Pandemic Intentional

COVID-19, Coronavirus, the RONA…whatever you choose to call it was a mess! It took the world by storm, had us all in a panic, & changed life as we knew it. I went from living it up in Cancun for my birthday to the world being shut down not too long after returning home. Traveling is one of my favorite things to do & is my main way to destress, so when the world went into lockdown, I had to get creative.

How the Pandemic Affected Me

As an essential worker, I didn’t have to just stay home. I was back & forth to the office & hospital 5 days a week, using hand sanitizer more than ever, wearing masks all day, & social distancing in an already cramped space. The few times I had to work at the hospital, I’d strip at the door & immediately go to decontaminate, fearing I was bringing the unknown home to my family. We were fearful, but at least I still got to socialize with my work family.

For the first few months, I didn’t feel any different. I was still in my normal routine (outside of masking up everywhere). Husbae was still working outside of the home as well, so nothing really changed. In May, we were charged with the task of reformatting our workflows & going remote. At first I wasn’t with it. Although I had a 40 min drive each way, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to be productive at home with all of the potential distractions. And then my eyes opened…

Working from home became a breeze! I was able to concentrate because I’d ban people from my corner of the man cave (Yes I took a corner over. There was nowhere else the desk could go.). The lil girl had folders of work that were sent home, so she was occupied with her kindergarten work & playing. But on the other hand, I missed the in-person interactions with my work besties. I couldn’t holler across the room or give someone a side-eye because I was alone. We’d have morning chats on Teams, but it wasn’t the same.

On top of that, Sunday dinners with the family had to shut down. Between most of us working outside of the home & my parents having pre-existing conditions that made them more vulnerable, we couldn’t risk spreading any germs. The Washington’s were in isolation, but we made the best of it. We found things to watch, did home improvement projects (we’d just bought our house a few months before), & used one of the stimulus checks to put a home gym in a shed in the backyard.

After awhile, I became used to being home, minus my weekly grocery store run…& I enjoyed it! I missed seeing my friends & family in person, but the introvert in me was eating up the fact that I didn’t have to leave the house. Bye bye business casual, hello sweats & workout tights! I got antisocial & lazy real quick. Some days I wouldn’t even move 2000 steps. I was in full chill mode, & that’s where the home gym came in handy. I could move & blow off stress in one pop…& I didn’t even have to drive anywhere to do it!

The Other Side of the Coin

While the introvert in me was thriving, the need for human connection was lacking. We finally got to a comfort level of social distancing outside on our porch, so family dinners began intermittently. My oldest turned 18 the summer of 2020, so we threw a family party for him. It gave me a temporary fix of being social. Seeing my friends didn’t occur until we started getting vaccinated. That felt super long, & I felt out of the loop. Texting & occasional FaceTimes weren’t enough to sustain friendships, & I still feel disconnected from some of my people now.

The Power of Reconnecting

I lost touch with a few of my people when our lives became restricted to our homes. Social media & sporadic texts became the extent of our relationships. I was clueless as to what was going on in their lives, as they were with mine. Our new routines became our new normals, & we were stuck. I didn’t realize how important seeing my people was until I couldn’t.

Social connectedness has so many benefits, which became super apparent when I lacked it. Things like:

Lower levels of stress
Higher self-esteem
Increased sense of purpose in life
Can make you feel younger
Brings back forgotten memories
Boosts your self-confidence
Improves your & others’ mental health (less likely to develop depression)

I definitely saw how much joy my friendships & family interactions brought to my life. I came to appreciate the Sunday dinners, girls night dinners, & group trips even more. Now that the pandemic is over, I’m trying to make more effort to reconnect with my people in person. We’ve gotten back to family gatherings & traveling, & the bday club is back on schedule to try as many restaurants as possible.

However, there are still some friendships I need to put more effort into reconnecting in person. This weekend, I’m going to make candles with one BFF. I need to make some plans with another who works the opposite hours as me because we haven’t seen each other in years literally. And my work crew is trying to set up a meal together next month so we can reconnect to catch up on life.

I miss my people, but ya girl is exhausted & has to learn to practice more of what she preaches with self-care & resting. I value my circle though, & know the power of having a supportive crew. That solid foundation is like no other, especially when you’re going through hard times. They just seem to make it a little easier.

How to Reconnect

For some relationships, you can just pick back up where you left off like it was yesterday. But for others, you may have to put a little umph in it to lessen the awkwardness. Here are a couple of tips to make things a little easier:

Don’t Be Passive. Reach Out!

With as advanced as technology is today, you can reach out to reconnect in various ways that lessen the social anxiety of being in person. We have social media, texts, phone calls, FaceTime, & Zoom to help out with that. Start the convo off with a quick message & go from there.

Assume People Like You

You know what happens when you assume something, right, especially the worst? Just because you lost touch with someone, it doesn’t mean there’s a dislike there. You won’t know unless you try. Don’t dwell on anything that may have happened in the past. People get over things, & holding grudges only holds you back.

Make Plans

Take steps to reconnect by making plans. If you think it may be uncomfortable by being one-on-one, invite a group. You’ll have the opportunity to catch up with each other, share memories, & make new ones.

Consider the Other Person’s Comfort Level

If it’s been some time since you’ve seen or talked to the other person, it can be uncomfortable, especially if things ended on a negative note. Be honest about the discomfort, but don’t force the relationship. With patience & understanding on both parts, time can heal all wounds.

Respect Personal Physical Space

Just because it’s been awhile, it doesn’t mean you have to hug. Coming out of the pandemic drew social distancing boundaries that many of us kept. I’ve never been one to like others to touch me, so be respectful of how the other party feels about physical touch.

Don’t Worry if You’re Out of Practice

We’re all getting back into the swing of “normal” life following the pandemic, so we may be a little rusty in the social department. Be natural about the interaction & don’t force anything. Quality always outweighs quantity.

We all may struggle a little with getting back to life outside. Although I want to get out & experience new things, I’ve become perfectly fine being inside on my couch with snacks & the remote. I’m working to find my happy place balancing between antisocial & social butterfly, & I’m sure I’m not the only one experiencing that. If you feel the need to reconnect with someone you’ve lost touch with, use some of the tips above. You won’t know if the feeling is mutual unless you take a step forward.

I’ve been going to dinner every few months with my girl crew, got back to traveling, & have plans for a family vacation this summer. There are some dope things to do in the area, & I’m not trying to miss out. Come explore outside with me, y’all!

Resources

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/reconnecting-with-old-friends-may-boost-your-mental-health-and-theirs

https://selfcareseeker.com/self-care-ideas-with-friends/

https://www.adventurebook.com/connect/how-to-reconnect-with-old-friends/