Who Wants to Participate in The Purge?
Keyshia Cole told us years ago to let it go, & that was some of the best advice I’ve heard. Emotions can be a touchy subject, especially with men. However, having emotions makes us humans & complex. Even a dog has emotions, honey!
Am I the only one who lets my feelings build up & just continue to bury them? I highly doubt it. Over time, those feelings can get buried so deep that you become numb, & that feeling is horrible. When I’d gotten to that place in the past, I didn’t feel human, as if I was moving around responding like a robot. And it made me realize I needed a way to release the pent up emotions, but it needed to be in a productive & healthy way. Journaling was one way that helped me do just that, & I was able to crawl out of that dark place.
Stumbling across emotional purging has given me something valuable to add to my toolbox though. It can give me a positive alternative to raging & being able to release those negative feelings. Emotional purging, otherwise known as catharsis, is a process that involves ridding yourself of emotions that no longer serve you any purpose. Even though I journal daily, I still have a big problem with holding my emotions in. When they finally come out, they either come out on paper or in curse words. I’m working on decreasing the ugly words when I’m wound up. I’m just not quite there yet. Work with ya girl!
The purpose of doing an emotional purge is to get in touch with your deepest feelings, to understand & come to terms with them, & to move forward on a positive path. Holding on to all of that negative energy does you no good, & those feelings don’t just go away because you suppress them. In fact, if you don’t deal with them, they can begin to trickle into your self-perception, how you deal with stress, your health, & your relationships. It’s not physically or mentally healthy to live with chaos in any of those aspects of your life, so you have to take time & effort to handle the hard stuff.
I know it’s time to release some emotions when I start feeling super emotional about everything & don’t want to be bothered. I know it’s time to check myself, but I’ve never put the label of emotional purging on it. It’s important to be real with yourself so you can recognize the signs. Three signs that it may be time for a purge are:
- Repetitive thoughts & triggers
- The people around you begin to notice a change in you
- Potentially detrimental feelings & behaviors begin to emerge, such as depression, anxiety, insomnia, unfiltered anger or rage, resentment, self harm, or shame & guilt
When I was going through my darkest times, I’d started experiencing depression, insomnia, & repetitive thoughts. It almost drove me to self-harm. I thank God I was working in the behavioral health field so I knew the resources to contact. Now, I’m a little more in touch with my emotions & am ok with being vulnerable around people I trust. A good emotional purge will help me to reset though, & I intend to do one soon.
Things to Remember
To complete an emotional purge, you have to first understand some things:
- It won’t end your suffering
Just because you get rid of the negative emotions, it doesn’t mean rainbows & sunshine will take over your life. You have to continue to do the work. Although you may feel like some weight may be off your shoulders, you have to continue to work through the issues that cause those emotions.
- Things won’t change immediately
You can’t just cry or scream, & you’re magically better forever. Things take time, & you will still think & talk about those feelings. Over time, they’ll fade though, as long as you do the work.
- It’s not a quick fix
Nothing that’s worth it is easy, so don’t expect to purge & everything will be normal. Your continuous effort to feel better will push you closer to coping with the issues more effectively.
- Things will get worse before they get better throughout the process
Unfortunately, the release is only the first step in feeling better. You then have to understand your feelings & what made them occur. Digging into your past may be triggering & bring up some serious pain. You just have to remember that once you push through, you’ll reap the benefits.
- You are not your perceived negative experiences
What you’ve been through isn’t who you are. They’re just small parts that contribute to the unique human you are. Everyone experiences negative things, so try to take them with a grain a salt.
- Don’t avoid emotional purging because it makes you feel like a victim
Feelings don’t make you weak, so letting them out shouldn’t either. Purging is actually empowering, so remember that it makes you a conquerer when you push through the negativity.
- Don’t get stuck
Purging is a process, so don’t get stuck on one thing. You have to continue to do the work for the process to work.
The Purge Process
The process of emotional purging involves three R’s: Recognize, Respond, & Reset. Each is essential to taking full advantage of the process. If you skip or skimp on one, the effects won’t be as beneficial as you intended.
RECOGNIZE
Self-awareness is something we all need but hate to do. It takes looking yourself in the mirror & being completely honest with yourself. That can make you feel some type of way, but it’s the only way to get through what you’re feeling. Mindfulness & making lists may help you get everything off of your chest. The deeper you go into your emotions, the more effective the purge will be. You have to feel it to heal it!
RESPOND
Self-expression is the part where you actually get things off your chest. Once you know how you feel, you have to express it. Here’s where journaling comes in handy. You can free-write exactly how you feel. There are no limits to what or how much you can say. The more you write or talk about, the better you’ll feel.
RESET
Self-care is the bounce-back part. After digging into your emotions & then letting them out, you’ll probably be physically, mentally, & emotionally drained. Now is the time to just rest so you can recharge. Take time to do activities that promote wellbeing, such as napping, meditating, & doing yoga or light exercise. The empty space your negative emotions leave will be refilled with positive ones as you begin to reset. It’s a reward for making space for positivity.
Getting in touch with your emotions is dirty work! There’s nothing fun about working through the darkest & ugliest parts of yourself. But you can’t stay stuck in the dark; you have to push forward so you can experience the light in life. There may be times that you feel alone or that you can’t make it through, but know that there is someone you can reach out to that’ll cheer you on through your hard times. You’re stronger than you know!
Here are a couple of interesting reads I came across on emotional purging. Let’s call our negative feelings to the carpet & kick them to the curb!
https://www.jennifersmusing.com/emotional-purge-peaks–points.html
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/7-ways-to-achieve-emotional-catharsis-without-having-a-meltdown
https://www.healthline.com/health/mind-body/how-to-release-emotional-baggage-and-the-tension-that-goes-with-it#What-does-it-mean-to-have-trapped-emotions?
https://goop.com/wellness/mindfulness/writing-exercise-to-release-emotions/
