Healing Will Take Work, But You’ve Got This!
Trauma is a sensitive topic, but it’s one that we need to discuss openly. Everyone has some degree of trauma, but we don’t always recognize trauma for what it is. It’s such a taboo subject that many people downplay their situations. Today, we change the game by calling out our traumas & making an effort to slay the dragons!
Trauma can be defined as someone’s reaction to a distressing event, including physical, emotional, & psychological responses. Many times, we think of trauma as being extreme, such as being a survivor of a violent crime or abuse. However, trauma is anything that causes a lasting negative effect on you. Here are some common symptoms of trauma:
Emotional
- Flashbacks
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Fear
- Guilt
- Shame
- Hopelessness
- Denial
- Anger
Physical
- Difficulty sleeping
- Headaches
- Paleness
- Lethargy
- Fatigue
- Poor concentration
- Racing heart
I never realized some of my experiences were actually trauma until I took some time to self-reflect. Working in the behavioral health field, I saw a lot…abused children, abandoned children, de-escalating teens with weapons, way more than most can imagine. On one hand, it desensitized me when I’d experience those situations again. It was just “normal” to me. On the other hand, it handed me a mirror & made me see some of myself & my loved ones in that reflection.
I had 2 emotional methods: bottle it all up & not address the issue & black out & explode. The majority of the time, I took the internalization route. I guess that’s what led to the blackouts. You keep all of your feelings inside & when shaken, you lose it. The catalyst for me to get myself together was my son seeing me throw a trash can over something minor. He would back away from me for awhile after that. From that moment on, I chose to not only live differently, but change my family’s paths as well. There was no way I was going to keep these unhealthy cycles going for future generations.
Enter: journaling! Boy did writing my thoughts at the end of each day unlock the door to my inner self! I got to dig deep & recognize some of my experiences for what they were: traumatic situations that negatively impacted my present. Between writing & seeing a therapist here & there, I was able to face myself & pivot onto a new path.
I can say that I’m still affected by some of the things in my past at times, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I can control my anger better, can express my feelings to others, & gained some coping skills. Taking a real look at myself helped me realize the importance of making a change. And knowing I have a solid support system allows me to be vulnerable, something I hate to be.
Not everyone buys into trauma though. Culture definitely affects identifying trauma for what it is: TRAUMA! Black people tend to “keep our business to ourselves” or “pray about it.” Now there’s nothing wrong with either, but as a Black woman I must say that even the Bible says “faith without works is dead.” We have to put action behind our beliefs. God will see you through, but you have to make moves towards the exit sign.
Through it all, you have to prioritize your self-care. Working through your issues is exhausting in itself, so you have to balance resting & work. Indulge in some calming activities that keep you grounded in the moment so you don’t dwell as much on the past. Check these out:
- Listening to your favorite song
- Talking to someone
- Taking a hot shower or bath
- Cuddling pets
- Lighting scented candles
- Eating mints or chocolate
- Watching your favorite movie
- Reading
- Getting rest
- Journaling (Get yours at https://intentionallyevolve.com/product-category/journals/ 😉)
- Exercising
- Engaging hobbies like writing, art, gardening, sewing, knitting, photography
Self-care throughout your trauma recovery journey can be as minor as chocolate or as extravagant as a tropical vacation. Just make sure you invest in yourself while also patting yourself on the back for putting some work in. You can’t add more stress to an already stressful situation, so put yourself first!
Let’s commit to staring trauma in the face & TKO’ing her! As always, some resources are included below. In addition, reach out to a therapist, especially a trauma-focused therapist in your area, to help clinically. Therapy is a beautiful thing!
