Relationships

Push the Pause Button on Parenting 

Where are all my mamas & daddies??? Parenting is a full-time job! Once you hear that first wail, your life completely changes. It’s no longer all about you; you’re now responsible for a little human who will need you for the rest of his/her life. That in itself is A LOT to deal with. Add on the amount it costs to raise these lil jokers, & honey your stress level has gone from zero to 100!

     Even though it’s a full-time job, we are allowed to take breaks from parenting. Furthermore, we DESERVE to take breaks! When I first began this parenting journey, I was a single parent, & my son’s father lives in another state so my breaks were pretty limited to summers. Thank God for grandparents, aunts, & godparents though! They’d call to request time with him, & I’d quickly agree. Bag would be packed at the speed of light! I needed that time to decompress & balance myself out. Between motherhood, working 2 jobs, & going to grad school, your girl on E constantly. That me time came in handy, & I’m forever grateful for my tribe!

     Self-care with a husband & kids is a bit different. There are times when it seems like the kids will never go away, so we have to try to dip off on the porch or the man cave for some peace. Other times, I’ll clear the house out so he can have alone time, or he’ll insist I go get my hair or nails done for my alone time. The boo time takes more strategic planning, but we do well on planning time away from it all. Date nights are a work in progress, but we have one planned tomorrow 🥰.

     It’s so important to make sure you take care of yourself when you have other depending on you. If you’re not up to par, it’ll be even more of a struggle to make sure you’re on point as a parent. Before I started prioritizing my self-care, it was easy for me to lose it. Sometimes I couldn’t stand myself for my attitude. I knew I had to take time to get myself together so I could be the best mother I could be. 

     Self-care as a parent for me has looked like everything under the sun. In my younger years, I’d stay on the club scene, enjoying the music, dancing, drinking, & clowning with my girl crew. When I realized that wasn’t always the best coping skill, I moved on to healthier methods: therapy, journaling, walking, traveling, working out. Therapy is a wonderful thing! You can release in a judgment-free zone. Put the other activities into rotation, & you have a nice cocktail of self-care! 

     Now I know how to set time apart from it all so I can recharge & reset. It makes things easier to balance in this thing called adulthood. Adulting is hard enough; adding kids to the equation is a scarier monster. And it doesn’t get easier as they get older! I think I worry more about the 20 yr old than the 8 yr old!

     So, parents…hats off to you today for your non-stop job! Reward yourself with some self-care on a regular basis. Check these links out for some other ideas to keep you balanced:

https://www.verywellfamily.com/self-care-for-parents-4178010

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/joyful-parenting/201708/25-simple-self-care-tools-parents?amp

https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/self-care-for-parents